(To himself in the mirror) There we go, you are ready for your date. Yeah, that's a bed head, yeah. Hey look at you, you just got out of bed. You're the underachiever every woman wants to sleep with.

Brian

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Character:
Brian Griffin
Episode:
Family Guy Season 5 Episode 7: "Chick Cancer"
Show:
Family Guy
Related Quotes:
Brian Griffin Quotes, Family Guy Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes, Family Guy Quotes
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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

(Stewie and Olivia arriving late to dinner with Brian and Jillian)Stewie: (exhales) Sorry we're late everyone, but JonBent here took forever with her make-up.Olivia: Ah yes, and we probably would've shaved a few minutes off our trip, but Mr. Cheap-o here refused to let the valet touch his Big Wheels, so we had to drive around the block six times till we could find a spot, (crosses her arms) but to his credit it's a great spot to get mugged.Stewie: (sarcastically) Oh wouldn't that be a shame, if they took all my money in both our wallets.

(Brian and Stewie sitting at table)Brian: So what happened?Stewie: Well, you wanna know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks. Women, Brian...what a royal pain in the ass. It's like, it's like, why can't you just hang out with guys, you know? Just live with someone of your own sex. Just do what you would do with women, but with your buddy, you know? Why don't guys just do that?Brian: They do, it's called being gay.Stewie: Oh, that's what gay is? Oh yeah, I could totally get into that.