(Homer is reading the magazines at the Kwik-E-Mart.)
Apu: This is not a library!
(Homer goes to the library.)
Librarian: This is not a Kwik-E-Mart!

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Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 6: "Marge on the Lam"
The Simpsons
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The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes

Ruth: I envy you and Homer.
Marge: Thank you. Why?
Ruth: If you ever met my ex-husband, you'd understand. All he ever did was eat, sleep and drink beer.
Marge: Your point being?

Hey, Mrs. Simpson, you should try one of these smart drinks! (Downs his drink) Oh, wow. I've wasted my life!