Edie: Well, at the risk of stating the obvious, it's over. He's mine now.
Susan: No, no, no, no! No, no, this, this is not how this ends. No, evil does not triumph over good.
Edie: That's how you see me?
Susan: Damn straight! You lie, you cheat, you scheme! You ruin people's relationships! I mean, how do you sleep at night?
Edie: Soon, with Mike on top of me, if you know what I mean.
Susan: See? Evil! Evil!
Edie: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe Mike and I are meant to end up together?
Susan: No! You, Mike? You don't even want him! You're just doing this to hurt me.
Edie: Wow, how self-absorbed can you be? I have had a thing for Mike since the day he moved in here, and I even backed off when he fell for your little Miss Adorable act. But he's over that. It's my turn now, and I will be better for him than you ever were. And if you do get hurt, well, that's just gravy. All right, maybe that was a little evil.

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Susan Mayer, Edie Britt
Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 5: "Nice She Ain't"
Desperate Housewives
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Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 5 Quotes

(Susan is trying to visit Mike at the coma ward)
Nurse: You need to leave. You're disturbing the other patients.
(a security guard grabs Susan by the arms)
Susan: What are you... Oh... This is ridiculous. Who am I disturbing? It's a coma ward, don't you want them to wake up?

Julie: Normally I charge twelve bucks an hour for tutoring, but seeing as it's you...fifteen!
Austin: Great. See you Friday. Oh! And just so you know, I charge fifteen an hour to make out, so I'll probably beak even.