Cartman: You guys, shouldn't you be out shopping for my birthday present?
Kyle: Here Jesus, drink these raw eggs.
Jesus: No way dude!
Chef: I-I-I cant! I can't hit Jesus Christ! My mother will never speak to me again!
Stan: But you're his fighting partner Chef!
Kyle: Yeah! You have to hit him!
Jesus: Satan must be defeated Chef! Please help me train.
Chef: Ok, but I'm just gonna tap you alright?
Jesus: Give it your best shot! (Chef punches Jesus on the face) Oh!
Chef: Oh god in heaven! What have I done?
Jesus: Anybody got the number of that truck?

Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Chef, Jesus
South Park Season 1 Episode 10: "Damien"
South Park
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South Park Season 1 Episode 10 Quotes

Mr. Mackey: Wh-wh-what you need to do, uh, Damien to be overly nice. See, n-no matter how mean the other kids are to you, just don't retaliate. Err, be passive, mmm'kay? That's what I taught the little British boy, Pip, an-and just look at how much the other children like him now!
(scene changes to the playground, a group of kids are gathered around Pip)
Clyde: I bet I could spit the most on him! (spits on his left shoulder
Bebe: Oh, yeah? I bet I could spit in his hair! (spits in his right eye)
Pip: Oh! Nice try! A little higher and you've got it!

Stan: Holy Crap Dude, Satan's huge!
Jimbo: Now that's is the guy who has been eating a lot of beef.