Better Off Ted Quotes

Veronica: Hi, Balding Guy. I love what you’ve done with the hair you have left

Clark: Mr. Crisp, you had a near-unanimous rating of “excellent.” In fact, there were even several write-ins of “adorable.” Veronica: Oh,…

Phil: Do you think I look like a possum in this shirt? Lem: Not in that shirt. Why?

Veronica: Legal says you have to wear a parachute. Lem: Why? At the height I’m going, a parachute will be useless. Veronica: Not from a…

Lem: Did you disable the camera? Dr. Bhamba: Did you disable your stupid-question filter? Lem: I thought I did

Linda [to Ted]: We’re not here because the company needs us. We’re here because we need you. You bring out the best in each of us. You…

Linda: Listen to my tone and not my words. We can’t just stand here and let them take Ted away from us. He is the shiniest employee we…

Ted: You know, I’d like to believe after everything I’ve done for this company over the years, they’d show me a little more loyalty than…

Linda: I can’t believe the company is treating you like this. Doesn’t it make you want to scream or put your fist through a wall or rub…

Dr. Bhamba: And why do you get to be in charge? As I recall, you were the only one who ran from the octo-chicken. Linda: Well, it freaked…