Desperate Housewives Quotes

Karl: Do we have to do this now? I haven’t had my coffee yet. Susan: Did you spend the night with Edie? Oh, my God! Karl: Susie, just…

Gabrielle: Why are all rich men jerks? Carlos: Same reason all beautiful women are bitches! (pause) Carlos: So, same time tomorrow?…

Gabrielle: Honey, you and your macho pride. Just tell him you’re flattered but you don’t swing that way.

Susan: I was just wondering… are you having some remodeling done on your house or something? Betty: No, why? Susan: Well, uh… I work…

Carlos: Listen to me – you’re going to go back there, you’re going to put that money in Rita’s hands, and you’re going to convince her…

Mary Alice (voiceover): Control…to lose it is to put our fate into the hands of others, and what could more dangerous?

Gabrielle: I’ve just realized Rita and I have a lot in common. Carlos: Please don’t tell me you have low self-esteem, because if I laugh…

Betty: You know we don’t talk to him, that’s part of his punishment.

Mike: I’ve got a question for ya. Susan: Sure, go ahead… Mike: Where are we now? Susan: Where are we? Mike: Yeah…we’re not moving in…

Susan: Just give me a minute… I am asking God to kill me.