Family Guy Quotes

Peter: Come on everyone, we’re late for the Bavarian Folk Festival. You know those Germans, if you don’t join their party they’ll come…

Peter: Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first

Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount…

Tom Tucker: Well Diane, that last report was so good I think you deserve a spanking. Diane: Oh Tom, I don’t think your wife would…

Teacher: Well class, we were scheduled to watch a PBS Program on the mating rituals of the nude, large breasted Wewak Tribe of New…

Peter: Let’s play a game called Takin’ the fall for Daddy. If you win, I’ll buy you a convertible when you get your license. Meg: Really?…

Meg: Dad, if I don’t get my driver’s license, I’ll never have any boyfriends, I’ll never get married and I’ll have to adopt a kid like…

Brian: Hey barkeep, whose leg do you gotta hump to get a dry martini around here?

Peter: What can me and you do together? (Lois giggles) Lois, you’ve got a sick mind! Lois: Peter, I’m talkin’ about making love. Peter:…

Lois: I know you don’t like broccoli Stewie, but you’ll thank me when you grow up big and strong like your father. Stewie: A compelling…