Family Guy Quotes

Lois: Stewie, you can’t leave the table until you finish your vegetables. Stewie: Well then, I shall sit here until one of us expires,…

Lois: Sweetie, it’s broccoli. It’s good for you. Now open up for the airplane. Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the…

Lois: Honey, it’s not going to go away just because you don’t like it. Stewie: Well then, my goal becomes clear. The broccoli must die!

Lois: Peter, what did you promise me last night? Peter: I wouldn’t drink at the stag party. Lois: And what did you do? Peter: Drank at…

Peter: I told Lois I wouldn’t drink. Quagmire: Don’t feel so bad Peter. Peter: Hey, I never thought of it that way

Peter: When she worries she says things like “I told you so” and “stop doing that, I’m asleep.”

Brian [in prison]: Uh, how was your shower? Peter: Oh, I tell ya Brian, all the rumors about dropping the soap are true. Brian: Really?…

Judge: Mr. Griffin, don’t you think you should have alerted the government to such a gross over-payment? Peter: Well uh, I was gonna call…

Lois: Stewie, why don’t you play in the other room? Stewie: Why don’t you burn in hell!

Peter: Now kids, daddy only drank so the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off