Family Guy Quotes

Peter: Compared to him, we’re about as useless as one of the those automated bathroom sinks.

Quagmire: Compared to the Navy the Coast Guard is totally unprofessional and incompetent.

Peter: You’ve never seen a homeless vet, and people are being really nice to me. They open doors for you.

Stewie: We made it just in time, and I was able to fool you because I am a master of disguise. Brian: It seems like you’re just good at…

Stewie: I hope no one from the train is on this boat. I’m wearing the same outfit.

Stewie: So when do the strippers arrive? Brian: 1952.

Watson: Sorry, got distracted. There are a lot of rats in London.

Stewie: After five minutes you think you know me?

Stewie: Quahog. What a pile of garbage.

Dr. Pritchfield: When I was in the orphanage, my Sunday school shoes were potatoes.