Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: Quahog. What a pile of garbage.

Dr. Pritchfield: When I was in the orphanage, my Sunday school shoes were potatoes.

Stewie: Brian, I did something awful. Brian: Do you want to talk about it? Stewie: No.

Chris: I can’t tell if they have a really strong marriage or a really bad one. Meg: I feel like it’s weird but strong. Like Danny Trejo.

Brian [about Fast and Furious movies]: So what’s the plot? Stewie: Oh. So you don’t understand these movies.

Peter [after touching Boo Berry]: I’ve been touched by greatness. I’ll never watch this hand again. This is the best thing that happened…

Brian: Quagmire? What are you doing here? Quagmire: Oh, I have an all-access pass to anything sex related in this town.

Peter: What’s the matter, Brian? Have you fallen and can’t get up?

Brian: You’re stuck being a single loser. You might as well embrace it.

Stewie (as Carter bends over): Good God, it looks like two eggs wrapped in a handkerchief.