Family Guy Quotes

Lois: That was a delicious dinner, daddy. Carter: You all laughed when I suggested Boston Market. Well, who’s laughing now? I guess I am.

Lois: Nothing reminds you more of what you have than watching a grown man poo right through the split in his pants.

Lois: And Meg I hope you learned your lesson about drinking. Meg: Yeah. I think I’d rather live my life as a loser than feel bad once in…

Meg: Dad, what are we going to do? Peter: You think it’s too early to tie our shirts around our heads to show we’re going insane?

Brian: Joe, Joe, it’s Brian. Listen. I have to tell you something. I’m – I’m pretty sure Principal Shepard killed his wife. Joe: That’s a…

Peter: My little girl’s a drunk. Oh my God. Where did we go wrong?

Peter: So what do you do for fun around here? You got DirectTV? Putin: We have Time-Warner. Peter: You have HBO? Putin: We have Starz….

Peter: Russia has all the hottest and ugliest women in the world. All 10’s and 1’s.

Peter: How do you say friend in Russian? Putin: There is no Russian word for it.

Vladmir Putin: Where is bathroom? I George Brett myself on plane. Peter: Eww. Gross.