On last night's Better Off Ted, Phil and Lem were playing a fun game with hypodermic needles and one thing led to another and they accidentally dosed Linda with an experimental drug.

Meanwhile, Ted and Veronica exchanged in some serious competition to see who could sell more wrapping paper.  Find out who won and who lost in our "Win Some, Dose Some" recap.

Now for some of favorite quotes from the episode we added to our Better Off Ted quotes collection:

Phil: I win! This is the most fun anyone has ever had with hypodermic needles.
Lem: It's not over yet. It's still wobbling. And it can't come out for at least a minute. Same rules as for losing your virginity | permalink

Lem: Here's a Band-Aid. And there's your lady shoulder.
Linda: Just bring the specs to my desk. I'll be the one hoping I never hear the term "lady shoulder" ever again | permalink

Phil: Hey, Linda. What's wrong?
Linda: The Jewish people have had such a tumultuous history, and yet they were still able to give us this? The everything bagel--it's all you'd ever want in one bagel. I love it... and the chosen people who created it. | permalink

Ted: You stole a baby?
Linda: Only for a few seconds. Turns out, just because you write your name on something doesn't mean you get to keep it.
Ted: Yeah, I think babies have to be notarized | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.