Better Off Ted Recap: "Win Some, Dose Some"

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On last night's Better Off Ted, Phil and Lem were playing a fun game with hypodermic needles and one thing led to another and they accidentally dosed Linda with an experimental drug.

Linda Gets Needled

Meanwhile, Ted and Veronica exchanged in some serious competition to see who could sell more wrapping paper.  Find out who won and who lost in our "Win Some, Dose Some" recap.

Now for some of favorite quotes from the episode we added to our Better Off Ted quotes collection:

Phil: I win! This is the most fun anyone has ever had with hypodermic needles.
Lem: It's not over yet. It's still wobbling. And it can't come out for at least a minute. Same rules as for losing your virginity | permalink
Lem: Here's a Band-Aid. And there's your lady shoulder.
Linda: Just bring the specs to my desk. I'll be the one hoping I never hear the term "lady shoulder" ever again | permalink
Phil: Hey, Linda. What's wrong?
Linda: The Jewish people have had such a tumultuous history, and yet they were still able to give us this? The everything bagel--it's all you'd ever want in one bagel. I love it... and the chosen people who created it. | permalink
Ted: You stole a baby?
Linda: Only for a few seconds. Turns out, just because you write your name on something doesn't mean you get to keep it.
Ted: Yeah, I think babies have to be notarized | permalink
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Better Off Ted Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted

Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie