Gossip Girl Review: Win One For Team Brooklyn

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It was far from perfect, but "The Witches of Bushwick" certainly didn't lack for heart, suspense, or cranking the vengeance meter up to 11 after a slow start to this season.

The Jr. Junior Varsity Mean Girls - Juliet, Jenny and Vanessa - may deserve a promotion after flawlessly orchestrating one of the most elaborate schemes in Gossip Girl history.

Meanwhile, Chuck and Blair provided the B-story, but still the most compelling part of the night. When those three monosyllabic words escaped Chuck's lips? Wow. Just wow.

Some Chair HEAT

Unfortunately for Chair fans, this was short-lived. Still fairly epic, however.

By the end, it seems the plan perpetrated by Juliet and her fellow witches worked so well and was so brutal, we actually felt awful for Serena (and fear for what might happen next).

Chuck and Blair managed to break up, again, but only after their everlasting love was overtly expressed, and on a note that gives us hope for the future. Now that's a difficult feat!

Now did we get there? Where to even begin.

A major theme of Gossip Girl this season is whether Serena is a selfish, irresponsible vixen or just an airhead who makes bad decisions, so often wronged by happenstance and fate.

The way she toyed with Dan and Nate may not have been malicious in her mind, but became so frustrating for them (and us) that they actually bought into Juliet's grand plan.

That plan stems from the mysterious link between Ben and Serena, which was finally brought up, albeit not verbatim (she never said "Ben slept with Serena," but ... come on).

Juliet bribes Lily with a piece of information presumably only she, Ben, Serena and her mom are privy to. Those of you who've theorized about boarding school look to be on point.

"Boarding school? Serena was a minor," she says, knowingly. So Ben is in jail on a statutory rape charge ... which he blames Serena for? How about himself? Why is it her fault?

Obvious open-ended questions and plot holes aside, that's why they want to take her down, and Serena's not getting much love from mommy dearest when it comes to her antics.

Fortunately for her enemies, Lily doesn't trust her, Chuck and Blair were preoccupied and Nate was just too easy to play. No one was there to save Serena this time, and she paid.

At Chuck's "sinners and saints" masquerade, in a plot device the show has already used, both Juliet and Jenny wear the same dress they saw Serena wearing on Gossip Girl.

Mystery Gossip Girl

Which Serena is this? Did Team Brooklyn fool you at all?

As if the SIM card-swapping (Jenny's apparently a CIA agent now) weren't a big enough stretch, Jenny and Juliet manage to successfully impersonate S in at least half a dozen run-ins.

Masquerading as Serena, who we are to believe Blair, Nate and Dan wouldn't recognize, Juliet kisses both fellas as Gossip Girl informants capture it all. Seriously, that site is all-knowing.

Then, as the Pretty Reckless' "Make Me Wanna Die" builds to a pulse-pounding crescendo, Jenny drops the curtain, revealing Chair kissing in front of the crowd! More on that shortly.

In her one piece of solid scheming all evening - Jenny really was carrying her in this whole thing, as Juliet hilariously said - Vanessa passed Nate's mom an application from Serena.

This turns Blair against her, because once again, she's convinced her friend is out to steal whatever's hers. Brilliant touch by Team Brooklyn. Then Nate and Dan both dump Serena.

Looks like the Date bromance is stronger than any bond with her at this stage. Hard as it is to believe this diabolical plot worked so well, it did play on real emotions and actions.

Dan and Nate really had been jerked around by S, and thanks to her own insecurities or her friend's own insensitivity, has a major chip on her shoulder about S' role in her life.

Then there's the coup de grace. Juliet somehow slips Serena something, stuffs her into a cab, TEXTS THE DEAN that "she" is withdrawing from Columbia (come on), and bolts.

As we leave Serena, she's a captive in Juliet's home. Misery, anyone?

Serena van der Woodsen Photo

It's been years since she returned to Grand Central, but Serena's past still haunts her.

While all this transpired, Chair found itself conflicted in assessing its past, present and future. Their feelings are genuine, but both have high-profile public images to protect.

Blair and Chuck had rekindled the passion, but were both torn by their reputations. He's the hedonistic bad boy whose business relies on bachelorhood. She ... can't date Chuck.

That's what Nate's mom Anne told her, anyway, as she tapped Blair to be the new face of her foundation. Forgiving Chuck? Not exactly setting an example for empowering women.

In any case, their sneaking around was exposed, and mere minutes after Chuck confessed he did mean those three words, it seemed they would put each other above all else.

Alas, his publicist was cool with Chair as a couple, but Anne Archibald was not. This led Blair to put herself first and break it off, which Chuck was surprisingly at peace with.

If you love someone, set them free. That was basically Charles' take on the whole thing, and while it seemed Blair did a 180 in about three minutes, it did sort of make sense.

The nice thing was that her man understood and said he'd wait for her. Maybe now isn't the time, but destiny will one day unite them for good. So sanguine, that Chuck Bass.

Overall, the episode was a bit up and down, but wildly entertaining at times, leaving us excited for the coming weeks when the gang must unite to save S from grave danger.

At least we think they will. Dan and Nate might be too busy hooping it up.

What did you think of last night's Gossip Girl? Discuss!


Editor Rating: 3.2 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.6 / 5.0 (424 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


I've never commented before, but this episode was so ludicrously bad, I think I am done with the series. When everything the villain does comes off so perfectly this way, it's called devil in your pocket plotting. The sim swap alone stretched credability past the breaking point, and then came the dance of a dozen Serenas? And oh look, here is the messenger to tell Blaire EXACTLY what she needs to hear, fake Serena interest in her face of the foundation position, at exactly the right moment. Who wrote this episode? Not a professional writer. Perhaps they got drunk and let their 10 year old finish the screenplay?


It was good but I'm fed up them all of them hooking up with each other like every other time.. So it makes it really boring
Bring some permanent new Guys and Girls for themmm...
Kevin Zegers is coming back as Damien and he is Freaking Hot, I would love to see him hook up with Blair or Even Serena..
Hope he stays for long... Nate and Dan should hook up bx somehow they are not manly enough to keep their girls in hands, the girls always slips from their hands.:P


I agree with Glee&&Gossip16 this episode really pissed me off! Why is that now one is doing anything to punish V and J? Does Gossip Girl signal gone off when Jenny arrives @UES? They can seems to get away with every insecure interventions against the real UES Team. B and C stories doesn't seems to mature. I think they should give S a bit of determination in getting her innocence be cleared and profound. They should bring back Georgina to go against Juliet, Jenny and Vanessa as her way to show that she deserves a second chance and forgiveness from S, B, C and D. Let the real Witch of the UES take the wrath!


@Glee&&Gossip16 "- Julliet this b**** needs to go...i'm sorry...this is exactly why there are no black people on gossip girl...cause this girl would've gotten her ass kicked by now." This has got to be one of the funniest comments I have ever read on this forum and has totally made my day! LOL! xoxo


"just an airhead who makes bad decisions, so often wronged by happenstance and fate" i'm gonna go with this. i mean S as much as i hate her is not evil or mean at heart. just that she is a terrible train wreck at using her head to make sound and respectable decisions. just like Nate is with dating. not entirely her fault but it's not an excuse to ruin so many lives. Serena should not be allowed to make decision regarding men. Period. she should join a convent and abstain from men. more than half of the GG drama would not have happened. And as for team brooklyn destroying her life well in many ways it's her own fault they could even do that. she's the one who played both N and D, she screws up more often Taylor Momsen says inappropriate things thus her own mom doesn't trust her, oh well ok the Blair's insecurities part wasn't her fault. Overall i say she deserved it. no sympathy here. sorry. however i hope she redeems herself.


why did they do it to me?!! chair story is killin' me! i can't believe that they're the same persons that in season 2 spent half of the season waiting to said ''i love u''.


Can someone PLEEEEZE tell me who is the actress that plays KC, Chuck B's pulbicist?? Help!


DIDN'T CHUCK BASS help Anne Archibald when they were broke?!


-Jenny Humphrey has absoulutly no reason not to like serena....because if anything Serena should hate Jenny since last season Jenny was trying to F*** Nate ( which btw was serenas boyfriend) -Vannesa is jelous that Dan is still in love with Serena which is not Serena's fault. Vannesa is doing all of this because she is insecure about serena taking her man.... - Julliet this b**** needs to go...i'm sorry...this is exactly why there are no black people on gossip girl...cause this girl would've gotten her ass kicked by now. but Julliet my love how are you mad at Serena because your bro...is a pedhophile? Yes it takes to people to have sex but he was a grown ass man and Serena was a child at the time....So that situation doesn't even call for all this. Oh and side note I'm shocked at everyones abiiliy not being able to see that Julliet and Jenny have diffrent hair colors than Serena...and why couldnt Eric vouch for her last night? This episode pissed me off and im sure next episode will too....ugh...


If two people are meant to be together they will eventually find their way back ....
C was perfect last night, I love when him and B break up, cos we know they'll get back together!!! Team Brooklyn -without useless V- is making the story very interesting... Season 4 is great, for now .... hope they won't disappoint us later ....

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Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 9 Quotes

Hey Serena, it's me. I saw your thing in The Post. Just wanted you to know that Brooklyn is a great place to avoid nasty looks. Unless you throw your recycling in the regular trash or try to open a chain store with questionable labor practices.


Serena: Hey, why are you guys eating? I thought we were going to Sarabeth's.
Eric: Ah, we decided we could spread out better here. There's more room to work.
Serena: On what, your calculus homework?
Eric: Your love life. It's a little something called "Dan vs. Nate". We're here to help.
Elliot: And we brought protractors.