For this year's Christmas special, The Simpsons went with its "Treehouse of Horrors" style format and divided "The Fight Before Christmas" into four stories.
Yes, if you want to get technical, the Horrors series always has three. And double yes, we realize the Simpsons has even already adapted this format for a previous Holiday episode. And so has Groeming's Futurama just two weeks ago. Geesh, stop complaining.
While the episode certainly didn't have the magic of the Halloween specials nor even past Christmas specials, some of the stories were at least unique, creative and entertaining. We'll keep these review simple and just rate each of the segments for the total rating:
Bart's Polar Express. Bart's adventure aboard Otto's pot-powered Polar Express to the North Pole was easily the strongest of the four stories. Bart working the corporate ladder of the elf world? Pirate teddy bears? Krusty and the Jewish clown Santa? It all came together for a very entertaining funny segment easily worth of 2 stars towards the total.
Lisa's Inglorious Basterds. Like most of Lisa's adventures, her little World War II story was mostly full of heart and a little less of the jokes than her big brother's outing. At least the idea of Marge going to war while Homer stayed at home and sent seductive post cards had us laughing. Plus the extremely random, funny Inglorious Basterds ending helped earned this segment 1 star for the total.
Marge's Martha Stewart Christmas. Unfortunately this segment was one mildly funny joke painfully extended into an entire story. One Martha Stewart joke could have made us laugh, but dragging her out ruined this bit for us. Yeah, we realize the irony after complaining how little the guest stars were used last week. Who cares cause it's our arbitrary rating system and we're taking away 1 star.
Katy Perry's Muppets. Unlike the other three, this short ending segment didn't really begin with a character's dream and just bounced right into its muppet action. They certainly had some funny jokes at the muppets expense and broke the fourth wall plenty of times in a funny, cheesy way. Plus, did we mention live action Katy Perry showed up and mocked her Sesame Street appearance by flaunting her boobs? While those alone could have earned this segment a half star each, it was Moe's ridiculously inappropriate performance of cunnilingus on her that won us over. We're giving it a wildly inappropriate 1.5 stars for The Simpsons trying to push the envelope for once. Take that Sesame Street. Call us Katy.
Now for our favorite Simpsons quotes from the Holiday special:
Nelson: After NAFTA, a lot of these jobs went to the South Pole. | permalink
Krusty [as Santa]: Kid, this company's bust. For years I've been giving away free toys and getting cookies in return. It's not a sustainable business model. | permalink
Marge: This tree reminds me of your father. Round in the middle, thinning up top and your hands get sticky when you touch him. | permalink
Homer: Someday, TV will be invented. And it will be free! Then it will cost money. | permalink
Krusty [as Santa]: I'm sure in the 25 years of Earth time you've been gone, your parents have been worried. | permalink
Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.