Desperate Housewives Review: "Secrets That I Never Want to Know"

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All good things must come to an end, right? Super cliché, but it certainly holds true of Desperate Housewives. The season premiere indicated that the women of Wisteria Lane are definitely bringing it one last time. The good in goodbye will seemingly be an apparent theme this final season.

The premiere picked up precisely where we left off last season. As Bree, Susan, Lynette, Gaby and Carlos disposed of Gaby’s stepfather’s body, I found myself waiting for the theme song of Pretty Little Liars to play. Honestly, I’d be lying if I said A didn’t cross my mind as the phone went off. Luckily, it was just a call from "home."

Making a Pact

Although the housewives made a pact to keep what happened a secret, it definitely wasn’t easy for all of them. While Bree and Chuck grew closer together since the incident, Chuck suspected that the girls didn’t care too much for him. Then again, who would want to befriend a detective after clearly being an accessory to a murder.

Hiding the secret from Mike, Susan was not dealing well. At all. She nearly broke down at that school pet burial, which was a hilarious red flag for whether or not she'll be able to keep this inside.

With a guilty conscience, Carlos became short-tempered and wanted to seek absolution. However, even with Gaby’s persistent help, he realized that he would never be okay. Gaby reassured him that he saved her life by taking another. It was a heartbreaking and touching scene, but this is Desperate Housewives. As with any dramedy and in true Desperate Housewives fashion, I’m sure that their secret will come to light in due time.

Tom and Lynette appeared to be separated all summer, but they hadn’t told their kids yet. Last season, their fights were relentless and exhausting. I was glad that this storyline wasn’t dragged out too much, as Tom and Lynette were both able to rip off the band-aid and let their children know of their new status.

Renee and her “ladies” tried to impress Ben, the new guy on Wisteria Lane. Although rejected at first, it’s clear that Renee’s not going to back down easily. I’m hoping that she finally gets an actual storyline this season with the charming new resident.

When Bree received her mysterious letter, the scene felt all too familiar. I was waiting for the creepy music to play and for Jennifer Love Hewitt to appear, considering she’s relatively experienced with “I know/still know what you did last summer” messages. Who do you think is the author behind the unexplained note?

Overall, the season premiere was comprised of suspense, jokes and touching moments amongst the housewives. From the funny car theft scene to the adult housewives swim only scene, it is absolutely refreshing and nice to have the ladies back.

On another note, I should admit I was undeniably upset when I first heard over the summer that Desperate Housewives was coming to a close this season. Letting go is never easy... especially when it comes to guilty pleasures. Then again, "Secrets That I Never Want to Know" reminded me that the more things changes, the more they stay the same. And after this episode, I’ve realized I’m indefinitely ready for the Fairview farewell tour. I’ll miss our favorite housewives dearly, but I’m looking forward to a promising end to yet another iconic show. Here’s hoping to a final season of uncontrollable tears, laughs and much more!

Review

Editor Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (100 Votes)
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Mathew because last season they brought Paul back to find out who kill his wife

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Michael: who the heck is susance? And I disagree, the episode as a whole was excellent, as it brought us around full circle to the first season. And I think you mean Mary ALICE and not Mary Ann. And no, it cannot be the same person who sent her the note, that was Martha Huber, who was murdered by Paul Young. That was a huge tie-up storyline last season, how on earth do you think it is still left open?

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The only good thing aboyt last night was Bree finding that note I can see the other ladys getting one down the road like next sunday have it be susance who get it and then the next sunday a other lady. So know the questions is who sent it and are they the same people who sent it to Mary Ann remember her death was still left open

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I'm an avid conspiracy theorist, and i have to say that i honestly think that the author was either Renee (which is unlikely, i know, but wouldn't that be exciting?), Susan, Bree's detective bf, or, my favorite, we find out somehow that martha huber didn't actually send that note to mary alice and it was someone completely different. This also begs the question of whether someone will commit suicide like Mary Alice! I hope not, but you never know. AND, why was bree targeted and not gaby? or anyone else involved?

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Great review :) I'm sad this is the final year I will definitely miss the ladies filling my Sunday nights with their shenanigans..awesome start to the final season :)

Fortyseven

I know they should be frazzled but they overdid it. I usually overlook the ridiculousness for the sake of entertainment. Gaby was amusing as usual. Gaby/Carlos had good scenes.

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i am going to miss this show like crazy :(
the episode was great but i dont get whats susan problem. she is acting like she never hid a secret before.

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I really loved this season's premiere. Omg, it is gonna be such an amazing season. I am really really sad to see it end but I think it is an appropriate time to end. I am really going to miss it a lot. I don't really know what I am going to replace it with. I am happy to see Bree and Carlos are not at odds with each other anymore - but I do think Susan was being super weird in this episode. I want Lynette and Tom to stay together.

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Will certainly miss the show but looking forward to the season and will be there for the full season for the ride. The note that was left in bree's mailbox is kind of odd seeing that its the exact same note that was left for mary alice...i mean exactly down to a T. The car theft scene with Gabby and Bree was iconic and I was crying laughing the entire time. The season premiere was fantastic and if its any implication to the season I'm looking forward to it

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I loved your review and the end was just so sad but true. I'm going to miss Bree, Gabby, Lynette, and Susan... I'm 19 but hahaha I get it. Its the best show ever and the most addicting television I've seen. I watched this show when I was in need of something juicy, when I was lonely, when I had freetime to myself (while eating a gyro... yum!), or to just catch up with my girls :) I never wanted this show to end I think I may cry on the series finale... I can't wait to see how it ends but... I don't WANT it to end... Its so bittersweet...

Desperate Housewives Season 8 Episode 1 Quotes

Chuck: Don't take this the wrong way, but you could do this professionally.
Bree: Coming from a man who's on a first name basis with half the hookers in Fairview, that's quite a compliment to take, Detective.

We're not criminals. We drive carpool.

Susan
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