Ted is declared the winner by the King / IT guy after winning his first fight at the medieval fight club.
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Phuil and Lem are demoted to court jesters when Ted defeats them in battle. He's their boss at life now.
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Ted takes down the dreaded Groth in a fight no one thought he would win on last night's Better Off Ted.
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Ted joins Phil and Lem's medieval fight club and duels against a fellow peon to rise in the ranks.
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Ted goes out to lunch with the middle management guys over fifty in an effort to try and please everyone in his life. Good luck.
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Veronica shows that she has a human side when the company tries to get her to hire someone other than Ted for his position.
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Linda ends up with a hypodermic needle in her when she comes down to visit Phil and Lem in the lab. That'll teach her.
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No longer forced to use the water fountains for black people without white people hovering over him, Lem tries to drink from the regular water fountain and ends up with white people hovering over him.
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Better Off Ted Quotes

Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things

Ted

Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie