Charlie gets annoyed with Jake when he continues to piss off Charlie's fiancee, Chelsea. Don't come between a man and his booty.
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Alan figures out a way to convince Melissa to sleep with him again... by lying about one of his mother's properties being his.
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Alan dons a pink version of the traditional real estate agent blazer as he helps his mother as her assistant to learn a little extra cash to get his own pad.
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 4 Quotes

Alan: I was on a date with Melissa
Charlie: How'd it go?
Alan: She broke up with me and I may have to register as a sex offender
Charlie: So at least you had fun

Charlie [about Chelsea and Jake]: ...and one of you has to go, guess who that will be?
Jake: Why, because you sleep with her?
Charlie: Good for you, why do people think you're stupid?