Alan [about Marty]: Mom, are you and he... Evelyn: Good Lord, no. The man is a thousand years old. It's a wonder his scrotum doesn't get tangled up in the wheels.
Charlie: Speaking of generosity, check out what I got Chelsea. Alan: Diamond earrings, nice. Charlie: Yeah, she dropped a couple hints about stuff she wanted, but I wasn't really listening, so I bought her these.