A Realtor's just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere. But not me. I'm completely clueless.

Phil

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Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 Quotes

I know I got a lot of baggage, but don't worry, I'm seeing a therapist. Just kidding. I'm fine.

Phil

Jay: Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven and landed on earth.
Gloria: I didn't... oh, because I'm an angel!