Abby: You forget about South Sudan, mister. You're not going anywhere.
Gibbs: Abby--
Abby: Don't Abby me. You collapsed in the squad room, Gibbs. What part of that is okay with you?
Gibbs: Were you there? I did not collapse.
Bishop: Yeah, you kind of did, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Aw swell. Where's DiNozzo? Where's McGee? Let's bring the whole gang in here.

Dear noble eastern white pine. Thank you for your brave sacrifice. And Tony is very sorry that he attacked you with his knife. And we promise that we will find and punish the person that shot you. The end.

This is my whole world. Can you imagine if I messed up? What that really means? It means that innocent people went to jail because of me. Because of my mistakes.

McGee: That's actually really interesting what he was doing.
Tony: Not really, McNerd. What is interesting is that the fact that his CO says he's been divorced three times, has no friends or family that still talks to him.
Gibbs: Yeah.

Man I picked a bad day for a field trip.

Brown: You have a fire starter kit in your heel?
Abby: You don't?

Cook: What are you doing?
Abby: Re-negotiating. This is a canister of DX7 gas. If I release it in this room, we'll all be dead in ten seconds.
Brown: What...that's not a smoke bomb?
Abby: Put down your weapons.
Cook: You're bluffing.
Abby: You're going to kill the hostages no matter what I do. No witnesses - I heard you say it. If my life can save theirs, I'm down, 100%.

Brown: Why aren't we dead?
Abby: 'Cause there's no such thing as DX7 poison gas. I actually just made an airborne incapacitating agent.
Cook: I knew you were bluffing. I knew she was bluffing.

Gibbs, this is Janice. She's my new friend. She helped saved the lives of the hostages. And you can arrest her now, cause she's working with the bad guys.

Gibbs: Are you doing okay?
Abby: I was this close to violating one of my most sacred principles.
Gibbs: But you didn't. That bomb was fake.
Abby: That's because I knew you were coming. I just knew it. But what if I didn't? What would I have done?
Gibbs: You'd have done the right thing, Abs. Whatever that is. I don't know much, but I know that.

Bishop: I'm going in.
Abby: Bishop, no! Don't go in there.
Bishop: I'm going to take a look around, maybe get a lead on who this woman really is.
Abby: Just wait! Gibbs and Tony are on their way over there.
Bishop: Gibbs is always telling me to take the initiative.

Abby: And these are his chats and his emails for you and Ducky to profile.
Palmer: Thanks for including me in there but Dr. Mallard's really the profiler. I'm just...
Abby: You are the wind beneath his wings. Now go. Blow.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.