Gibbs: Can you beam this up to McGee?
Abby: Well I can't beam it Captain Kirk, but I can send it up, sure.
Gibbs: Captain who?

Abby: Why didn't we do more to stop Parsons' investigation? Like a sit-in....or a hunger strike?
Palmer: I'm no good at hunger strikes. I get really light-headed at around four o'clock if I don't have a snack.

Abby: Ziva is loyal to a fault.
Parsons: No doubt. "To a fault" is exactly how I'd put it.

I knew that guy was trouble. He's like an evil McGee.

Abby: Is that broken?
Tony: No Mrs. Mulwray, but I damned near lost my nose. I like breathing through it.
Abby: Mrs. Mulwray
Tony: Faye Dunaway and of course Mr. Jack.
Ziva: Yeah, I know. Chinatown.

Abby: This is nice, Ziva. It's been too long since we got to hang out.
Ziva: Yeah. I know. I'm sorry, I've just been, uh, busy lately.
Abby: Yes you have. Doing what?
Ziva: You know. Just....stuff.

Ziva: Looks like a symbol. But of what?
Abby: That could be all night finding that answer. You in?
Ziva: I'm sorry. Busy.
Abby: Right. "Stuff". I'll draft McGee.

Ramsey: Looks like we got a lot of evidence to get through, huh?
Abby: Yeah.
Both: All-nighter!

You could totally rock an eye patch Gibbs. And that's not important.

From the ashes, McAbby will rise.

Abby: Have the bad things been outweighing the good things all these years and I just ever noticed?
McGee: What do you mean?
Abby: All I ever wanted was to help people with the truth. And I've done that, but then bad still won sometimes. And I just want to file it away, like it never happened so I can go back to being happy.
McGee: There's nothing wrong with that.
Abby: Yes there is McGee because sometimes the Cutwrights and the Dunns, they just keep fighting no matter what the truth is. And sometimes Ricki never gets to see her grandpa again. If the bad outweighs the good then that means that I'm not enough.
McGee: Abby listen to me...
Abby: And if I'm not enough, McGee, then why even try?

Gibbs: You do something good now, you're not always around to see the difference it makes later.
Abby: I don't know Gibbs.
Gibbs: Abs, first day we met.
Abby: It was a Thursday, seventy degrees, mostly sunny. What about it?
Gibbs: What did you give me?
Abby: I had Chinese food, and I gave you the fortune from my cookie.
Gibbs: Because?
Abby: Because I wanted it to be about you.
Abby: The fortune. You kept it.
Gibbs: The things you do mean something to people.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: You know something I don't? Working tonight and tomorrow night?
Tony: No, Tim. It's just that Zoe's parents are in town and they want to have dinner. I'm not ready for that.
Abby: So you deceived her.
Tony: I was put on the spot. I was not prepared.
McGee: Whoa. Hey. What are you afraid of?
Tony: I don't know.
Abby: They're probably really nice.
Tony: I'm sure they are. I've just never had dinner with the parents of a woman I'm seriously involved with.
McGee: That's not true. What about Jon Benois?
Tony: No, technically that wasn't me because I was undercover as Tony DiNardo, professor of film studies. I wasn't myself back then. Meeting the parents for dinner could trigger a whole chain of events.
Abby: It's just dinner, Tony.
Tony: You have dinner yet with Ranger Burt's parents? I didn't think so. Then put down the gavel, take off the robe and stop judging, both of you.
Abby: Okay.