Abed Quotes (Page 7)
Season 2, Episode 11: "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"
Abed: If I can find the meaning of Christmas, everything will go back to normal.
Jeff: Asterisk.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 10: "Mixology Certifiction"
Abed: They were making out.
Britta: Abed!
Jeff: Why would you say that?
Abed: Why would you do it in front of me? I'm not a coat rack.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Guy in bar: What is wrong with you that you can sit here this whole time and never pick up on the fact that a man is hitting on you.
Abed: Oh I actually did pick up on it after a while.
Guy: And?
Abed: I just like talking about Farscape.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 9: "Conspiracy Theories and Soft Defenses"
Jeff: I'm proud of Annie. She took to deception like Abed took to Cougar Town.
Abed: It's good.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Abed: You can't be in here Leonard. You already have three farting strikes against you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Abed: Welcome to Funkytown. No smoking, no farting, no pillow fighting.
Annie: We're in a chase!
Abed: That's allowed.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 8: "Cooperative Calligraphy"
Abed: If I could just take a moment to share a few words of sarcasm with whoever it is that took this pen. I wanna say thank you for doing this to me. For a while I thought I'd have to suffer through a puppy parade, but I much prefer being entombed alive in a mausoleum of feelings I can neither understand nor reciprocate. So whoever you are, can I get you anything? Ice cream, best friend medal, anything?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 7: "Aerodynamics of Gender"
Britta: It's called a Muffin Top, Abed.
Abed: Like a muffin. Clever.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Abed: It's Wednesday. Sometimes I eat in Jeff's car. Don't tell him.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 6: "Epidemiology"
Abed: Troy, make me proud. Be the first black man to make it to the end.
• Rating: 4.6 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 114