Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Alex: Ok, that's it Grandpa's cheating.
Haley: On Gloria? How could he possibly do better?

Haley: Shouldn't she be playing Words with Friends with friends?
Alex: Grandpa is my friend.
Haley: Of course he is. That's not sad

Haley: Look I need more sleep than you and ever since they cut down that stupid prune tree the sun has been right in my eyes every morning.
Alex: It's not a prune tree, they pruned the tree.

Alex: It's junior year, I have to get good grades. Don't you know how competitive it is out there? Stop pressuring me!
Haley: You know, this is what happens to kids when they're not sexually active.

Alex: She said I was just like her.
Haley: Was she weirdly competitive

Haley: Oh yeah she can wear whatever she wants after I've had it for six months.
Alex: Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it.

Alex: He keeps asking me to hand him all of the instruments, he wants me to act like a nurse.
Luke: Now it sounds like a date in Haley's life.

Haley: Went to college at a place called MIT.
Alex: M.I.T.
Haley: I know how to spell it.

Claire: Alex what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Alex: I need to do it more often.

What converts this conversation into over?

It's like scrabble with Haley. After awhile you're just playing against yourself.

Alex: You maybe wanna take a shift carrying this dry ice?
Gloria: No I just had a baby.
Alex: I watched you carry Manny to bed.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 79 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

Unless you can convince Tom Brady to spend the night, I am not making breakfast for any football players…He is a football player right?

Mitchell
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