Howard: A mineral and rock show? That would be awful even without Bert.
Amy: So what am I supposed to do now?
Raj: Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring

Amy: I'm just going to go find him and be brutally honest.
Raj: He'll be so upset. He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building and start swatting at planes.

Amy: What's the show?
Penny: Um, NC ... II .... Or, you know, NCSTD ... I don't know, it's the one with all the letters and I'm gonna be on it!

Amy: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Sheldon: We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don't have to.

Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look.
Sheldon: It doesn't matter. This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Some kind of dirty magic show.

Sheldon: The second I go out of town you throw a Christmas party without me?
Amy: Yeah, kind of.
Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best.

Amy: It's a beautiful night. Why don't you and I go for a nice walk together?
Sheldon: Everything is just sex with you, isn't it?
Raj: Sheldon, I think you might find the support you're looking for, if you realize that relationships are a give and take. She can only be there for you as much as you are for her.
Amy: Thank you, Rajesh.
Raj: And, Amy, you need to be patient with Sheldon, instead of pressuring him to accept intimacy on your terms.
Amy: You should probably go.

Penny: "Want of Understanding"? What does that even mean?
Amy: Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

Amy: No traffic. We're sailing.
Sheldon: Yep. Like we're on a ship. Coming from Africa to America.
Amy: Sheldon, that's completely inappropriate. You can't keep comparing yourself to a slave.
Sheldon: Yes, Miss Amy.

Penny: We had one of those silly fake weddings.
Leonard: Penny ... you know those are real, right?
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Sheldon: He's right.
Amy: They're real.
Penny: But, it didn't seem real.

Sheldon: Now, I know how the African slaves felt. Being dragged from their homes to labor under the yoke of the white man.
Amy: Are you honestly comparing Thanksgiving dinner at the Wolowitz's mom's with one of the greatest tragedies in the history of mankind?
Sheldon: Yes.

Sheldon: No, go ahead, say it. I know what it is. I've heard it my whole life. The word's "annoying." Go ahead, say it. Say it. Say I'm annoying.
Amy: Sheldon...
Sheldon: Oh, it won't hurt my feelings. Go ahead, Amy, say I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Is anyone else troubled by the Spider-Man theme song?
Leonard: Why would it trouble you? It's like your third favorite cartoon theme song.
Sheldon: It is, right behind [Sheldon sings "Inspector Gadget" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" theme songs]
Sheldon: However, the Spider-Man lyrics posit that Spider-Man's Spider-Man does whatever a spider can.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: I can think of many things that Spider-Man can't do that a spider can. One crawl in your ear and die, two legally leave Guatemala without a passport, and three have sex with a spider.

I was expecting applause but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.

Sheldon