Favorite Andy Bernard Quotes
Susan: You didn't say goodbye to your grandmother.
Andy: We promised we'd never say goodbye.
If you donated my computer to Africa, it would become famous as the slowest computer in Africa.
I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm in a dance off. Alright!
I guess you could say I'm in one of those ass tattoo incentive situations.
Andy: Literally every song is better a cappella. Name a song.
Dwight: Cherry Pie, Warrant.
Andy: Better a cappella!
Dwight: No! Really?
Andy: Yeah. Name another.
Dwight: Enter Sandman, Metallica.
Andy: Better a cappella.
Dwight: Rebel Yell, Billy Idol
Andy: Aw!! Way better a cappella
Dwight: Really?
Andy: Yeah.
Kevin: Everyone is gonna be there. Angela, Phyllis... even Creed is a maybe.
Andy: Creed is going?!?
Darryl: All I know is if I was a girl and had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia, and a you-lookin' dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you.
Andy: That's really nice, thank you.
Darryl: And I'd blow your mind.
I guess I don't have what it takes to be a film critic. I could be a food critic. These muffins taste ... bad. Or maybe an art critic. That painting is ... bad.
I'll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a... carpenter... that makes stairs.
I've walked two marathons. Pretty sure I can handle a 5k. Key is drafting, eliminate wind resistance.
I've always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel. In high school, I organized a walk out over standardized testing. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway got a 1220. Always regretted it... I feel lachrymose.
Andy: So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth.
Jan: Well, actually, I, uh, I had a tub birth. And it was really, really quite amazing.
Angela: You gave birth in a tub?
Jan: Yeah, it's a really nice transition from womb to world, you know, kind of like a big womb.
Kelly: Um, so you're in the tub with everything?
Jan: Oh, yeah, the afterbirth floats, yeah.
Creed: Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.
Jan: Oh no, it's actually really hygienic, Creed.
Creed: Ugh.
Stanley: I'm done.
