Darryl: We have a voluntary meeting in the conference room to talk about Erin's...confidence.
Andy: Her body.

Now I know why Michael hated you so much.

I just want ONE mother f*cking delicious moment.

I earned that job! I was personally chosen after Robert was chosen and quit.

Andy: How do you not have a toothbrush?
Erin: I just, there's always one around.

I haven't proposed to anyone in years.

Robert: It's been ten days since I've had sexual intercourse.
Andy: Well you came to the right place.

Gam Gam's name is Ruth. Jim you should know. I introduced you that one time, on speaker phone.

Susan: You didn't say goodbye to your grandmother.
Andy: We promised we'd never say goodbye.

What I wouldn't give for one of Phyllis's classic room clearing farts right now.

Andy: When you're in a rock n roll band with somebody, you're bonded for life.
Darryl: Usually their life is short and tragic.

You're the deuce I never wanna drop.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.


Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.