Andy: Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum out there.
Robert: Who are they?
Andy: They're both Kevin.

Andy: I'm sorry, this must be really uncomfortable for you.
Robert: I'm never uncomfortable.

Andy: Chef from South Park. It's genius!
Stanley: Just some chef.

Cheers, cheers, cheers. Get your own guitar.

Kevin: Andy, I think we should acknowledge the man who has led us to such a profitable quarter...to Robert California.
Gabe: I would also like to toast Robert California.
Andy: You can't triple toast somebody.

You don't need a reason to throw a garden party anymore than you need a reason to throw a birthday party.

Andy: You do have a fantastic basement.
Darryl: I did. I did have a fantastic basement. Now it smells like tacos.

Andy: We're losing cloud cover.
Kelly: Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.
Darryl: Hey, hey...Vick did his time.

Andy: Ow, ow!
Tattoo Artist: That was just the cotton swab.
Andy: Invest in softer cotton, sir.

Let's ink my stink!

I guess you could say I'm in one of those ass tattoo incentive situations.

Andy: You think it has anything to do with the incentive program?
Jim: Oh absolutely. People wanna see you tattoo your ass.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 258 in total

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy
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