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Andy: Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum out there.
Robert: Who are they?
Andy: They're both Kevin.

Andy: I'm sorry, this must be really uncomfortable for you.
Robert: I'm never uncomfortable.

Andy: Chef from South Park. It's genius!
Stanley: Just some chef.

Cheers, cheers, cheers. Get your own guitar.

Kevin: Andy, I think we should acknowledge the man who has led us to such a profitable quarter...to Robert California.
Gabe: I would also like to toast Robert California.
Andy: You can't triple toast somebody.

You don't need a reason to throw a garden party anymore than you need a reason to throw a birthday party.

Andy: You do have a fantastic basement.
Darryl: I did. I did have a fantastic basement. Now it smells like tacos.

Andy: We're losing cloud cover.
Kelly: Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.
Darryl: Hey, hey...Vick did his time.

Andy: Ow, ow!
Tattoo Artist: That was just the cotton swab.
Andy: Invest in softer cotton, sir.

Let's ink my stink!

I guess you could say I'm in one of those ass tattoo incentive situations.

Andy: You think it has anything to do with the incentive program?
Jim: Oh absolutely. People wanna see you tattoo your ass.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 258 in total

The Office Quotes

In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all...it's fear. Merry Christmas.

Dwight

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael