Pierce: What is a period fairy?
Annie: The fairy that gives you a dollar every time you get your period
Pierce: Does she still come?

I'm only taking this because I'm a little worried about making rent and they told me the procedure for selling eggs takes three weeks.

Jeff: How old is he again?
Annie: 30-something I guess. He has a land-line and uses the world album.

I'm not a relaxed person Britta. I think ahead. I prepare. I don't improvise my life like Caroline Decker, who probably has really bad credit and an unfinished mermaid tattoo.

Annie: There's a conspiracy here. A dark, vast conspiracy that just may that go all the way to the top.
Jeff: This is Greendale, Annie. If there is a conspiracy, it goes to slightly above the middle.

Accidents don't just happen over and over and over again. This isn't budget daycare.

Abed: I'm like Robocop.
Annie: Yes. Cherise is a bad rowboat. Sink her.

They can make us sick by biting us. The banana said so.

He's acting like the impression of him we do behind his back.

Annie: Can we stop walking in slo-mo now?
Pierce: You guys are walking in slo-mo?

Britta: Guys go home and make socks with your name on it.
Annie: If a guy wants to make a puppet of me, that's hardly your concern.

I'm so glad this tragedy overshadowed Haiti. I couldn't think of anything for that.

Community Quotes

I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that.

Pierce

I need Purell for my brain.

Annie