Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Bishop: Attention squad room.
Tony and McGee: Louder!
Bishop: Attention squad room! I, Eleanor Bishop, am asking spirits of criminal science for a really hectic day! A crazy day where lots of things go terribly, terribly wrong.
Tony: There you go.
McGee: Just so you know, I donated a bunch of my stuff last week. Stuff that was important to me.
Delilah: More important than my stuff, or more important than us?
Tony: That's a trap.
Tony: Are they arguing in binary?
Bishop: Binary averages twelve digits per word. It's some sort of modified shorthand.
Tony: He can't even argue like a cool cyborg.
McGee: Let me explain to you why that is not creepy. They're my recitals. I used to tap dance. Yeah. You heard me. I used to tap dance and you know what? I was a natural. In fact, I was amazing. They used to tell me Timmy "Soft Shoe Savant" McGee. You understand? And I'm not ashamed of it.
Tony: I gotta find a VHS player.
McGee: That's actually really interesting what he was doing.
Tony: Not really, McNerd. What is interesting is that the fact that his CO says he's been divorced three times, has no friends or family that still talks to him.
Tony: No, I have not had an eye lift.
Woman: I don't believe you. And I would sue if I were you.
Tony: Well there's nobody to sue, because I haven't had it. Wait, why would I sue?
Woman: You tell me, Marty Feldman.
Tony: So the illegal sports book was yours then?
Carver: No idea what you mean. But I'd love to know who exactly you heard it from.
Tony: Well I bet you would, but then, I have a feeling that the same thing would happen to him that happened to the last guy who pissed you off? So....
Tony: Where are we off to, guv?
Gibbs: Quantico. Keep talking with that accent, I'm gonna shoot you
Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.
Tony: Thinking about visiting my ancestral home, England.
Gibbs: Why the sudden interest, DiNozzo?
Tony: I've been thinking about family a lot. I mean all I have is Senior, really. He's not getting any younger. I don't have anyone else. The way things are going I don't see kids in my future. So, I don't know. Guess I'm searching for a sense of belonging.
Take the pictures down Tim. It's rude.
Gibbs: You think you know everything DiNozzo. You don't.
Tony: I'm just trying to protect you here.
Gibbs: You know why you got sidelined? This.
Gibbs: This isn't about me. Take care of your team. Do your job. Keep your head in the case. Keep Mitch's family tree to yourself.