NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Tony: Notice anything different McGee? We installed the new computer monitors.
McGee: You touched my desk?
Tony: It was their idea.
Kevin: We wanted to thank you.
Khan: No we--don't say that out loud.
McGee: No no no, this monitor should be more to the left.
Tony: Okay let's go to the van. Nobody needs to see this part of Tim McGee. C'mon IT Kevin.
McGee: Come on. Didn't even bundle all the cables.
Tony: He got a name?
Ziva: Who?
Tony: Star of David.
Ziva: Oh him, yes he has a name.
Tony: Trevor? Bruce? Marmaduke?
Ziva: Michael.
Tony: Um, he sounded more like a Bruce than a Michael on the phone.
Zoe: Relax, Spider. They know about us.
Tony: Who knows?
Everyone: We all know.
Gibbs: It's about time. Geeze.
Tony: How did you find out?
McGee: We're trained investigators, my friend.
Zoe: And in honor of us coming out, Tony is going to buy everyone drinks.
Tony: I am?
Zoe: Yeah. You are. C'mon. Get your coat.
Tony: Yeah, boss.
Zoe: I'm up here to return something that you left at my place when you rushed out this morning.
Tony: Mmm. Yeah. Well I was a little light-headed. What did I leave?
Zoe: These. *hands him a set of handcuffs*
Tony: Oh boy. You found the key. I had you locked up pretty good.
Zoe: Yeah. You did. Um, are we keeping us a secret?
Tony: Yeah. Uh, listen. This place is a henhouse. It practically runs on gossip and I do not want to be topic number one. And we're doing pretty good in this relationship, right?
Zoe: Right.
Tony: I don't want to spoil it.
Zoe: Okay.
Tony: Okay. Yeesh. You're very dangerous.
Ziva: You can't make an omelet without breaking some legs.
Tony: You're never making me breakfast!
Ziva: That is the truth!
Tony: It's supposed to be "eggs".
Ziva: Cook them yourself!
Tony: Hey. You haven't said a word to me since we left the office.
McGee: I've been trying to figure out what you're up to.
Tony: Me?
McGee: Yeah. You've been acting so, you know, nice. You haven't abused me in days.
Tony: If you would like me to abuse you, I will abuse you.
Tony: Mat. Missing a "t" there buddy. Like "doormat"?
Mat: I dropped the second "t" years ago. Life's not about conforming to society's phallic-centric norms. Homemade gluten-free cinammon scones?
Bishop: Oooh.
Tony: No! Are you nuts? Never take cookies or movie advice from a hipster.
Gibbs: Where is Hollis Mann?
Bishop: Uh, I think she went back to the DoD.
Gibbs: You think? What do you mean, you think?
Tony: We've been at this all night. We're all a little tired. Why don't we take a break, get some air.
Gibbs: No, there is no break. There's no breaks until this case breaks.
Tony: Never get personally involved in a case. You're breaking rule number 10 boss.
Gibbs: You're damned right I am DiNozzo. You have a problem with that?
Tony: Gibbs and Hollis Mann. Both in the director's office. You know what this means.
Bishop: That she's helping with our case?
Tony: Think bigger picture, Bishop. You know how "on edge" Gibbs has been lately?
Bishop: Well yeah, since Diane's death. He's had a lot on his mind.
Tony: Exactly. And he's not going to talk to us about his feelings and emotions. But Hollis Mann - she speaks his monosyllabic language. She's our Gibbs-whisperer.
Bishop: It's your past, Tony. And it's a good one.
Tony: I have a tricky relationship with the past. I can either bury it or fixate on it. Still working out the kinks.
Bishop: Well whatever happened in your past helped make you the awesome guy you are today.
Ziva: You have to tell him [McGee] the truth.
Tony: Not until I'm absolutely sure lying won't work.
Bishop: Well, family first. Not to mention your brave suggestion. He might just be too close.
Tony: Are you mocking me?
Bishop: Well, he obviously took it to heart.
Tony: Okay. Number one - that's adorable. And number two - Gibbs would never bail on a case much less a Sergei case much much less at my suggestion.
McGee: Unless he had a plan.
