April Ludgate Quotes
April: Here's a great one. It's a Tudor mansion. It's got seven rooms, four bathrooms. It's got a tennis court, a pool and a three-car garage.
April: And it's only $20,000 a month. And it's in Chicago.
Andy: Ahh, that close. It was almost perfect.
- Permalink: Here's a great one. It's a Tudor mansion. It's got seven rooms, ...
Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?
- Permalink: April, you're like an angel with no wings. So like a person?
April: You're, um, Pawnee's Woman of the Year it looks like.
Ron: Oh, it's about time.
- Permalink: You're, um, Pawnee's Woman of the Year it looks like. Oh, it's...
God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked in like 15 layers of irony?
- Permalink: God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked in like 15 lay...
April: Oh my god, they're amazing.
Jerry: They're more than amazing. They are terrific.
April: Terrific's not more than amazing, Jerry.
Jerry: No? Well, it's not less.
- Permalink: Oh my god, they're amazing. They're more than amazing. They ar...
I had to finish watching Swimfan because it was... on.
- Permalink: I had to finish watching Swimfan because it was... on.
April: Do you want me to seduce Perd Hapley?
Leslie: How would that help?
April: I don't know. I just want to see if I could do it.
Leslie: April, I appreciate that, but I don't think it's something worth losing your virginity over.
- Permalink: Do you want me to seduce Perd Hapley? How would that help? I...
April: I want to go to The Glitter Factory.
Leslie: Well, drop out of school and start doing meth.
- Permalink: I want to go to The Glitter Factory. Well, drop out of school ...
Jerry: I really wish I could have your body.
April: Eww, like tied up naked in your basement?
Jerry: No, no I mean you're in good shape and you can eat whatever you want.
Leslie: That was weird, Jerry.
- Permalink: I really wish I could have your body. What? Eww, like tied u...
Ron: This seems like none of our business.
Leslie: Be supportive, OK? Don't be all like, "No. I don't want to. I am a guy and I like fire, and playing hockey and eating meat. No, no says I."
April: That was a really good Ron.
Leslie: Thank you.
- Permalink: This seems like none of our business. Be supportive, OK? Don't...
Leslie: Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs.
April: Ann's blows.
Ann: Wow, don't hold back.
April: No offense but it's a giant picture of a park. That's not art.
Ann: Well, at least it's not a fat human hamster eating meat.
April: You don't even work here.
Leslie: OK, guys you both have a point. Ann, yours was a little trite. And April, yours was hellish, and might make someone vomit.
April: Thank you.
- Permalink: Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs. Ann's bl...
April: So this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And um, this is a TV screen that'll be like a big flat screen TV and it'll play looped video of knee surgeries. And then, this is a human-size hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one. And it'll be spinning and there will be like a fat guy in it all the time like screaming and like eating raw beef and like bleeding and like blood will come out of his mouth and stuff. And um, it'll be like right next to, the mural.
Leslie: I have one question. Why?
April: If you have to ask, you don't get it.
- Permalink: So this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out...
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