Horizons are dumb, never broaden your horizons.

We have a thousand dollars in our bank account and we're young and irresponsible.

Andy: It's so much more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.
April: Yeah, I'm trying to find a way to be annoyed at it, but I'm coming up empty.

Honey, he's wearing a costume. He's going as lame.

Chris: I can't find my car keys.
April: Solve this mystery genius.

Ron: Anyone find any mistakes?
April: Yeah, actually, in here it says that Pawnee is great, but in reality it's terrible.

Ron: Anne was getting a little chummy. When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
April: That's a really nice move.
Ron: Thank you.
April: You're welcome Lester.

She's the cold distant mother I never had. I love her.

Tom: Wow, how long has it been?
April: Three weeks.

Chris: I want to apologize to all the women and Jerry. If I could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, I would.
April: Wow, that is so sweet.
Chris: Thank you.

Ben: You always separate your lights from your darks.
April: That's racist.

Ron: Who the hell is 'Fwarp'?
April: I don't know. I couldn't really hear him. It sounded like his name was Fwarp.
Ron: Get his number?
April: No.
Ron: Good girl.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April