Favorite Barney Stinson Quotes
[Barney and Ted at airport picking up girls]
Barney: Follow them, tickets on me.
Ted: No! Barney! Don't you get on that escalator! And don't you dare get on that subsequent escalator
Lily: Maybe smoking isn't so bad. It gets us out in the fresh air.
Barney: Yeah and all the coughing really works my abs.
Christmas is a time when people are lonely and desperate, it's the most wonderful time of the year
[walks in, sees Robin bent over in yoga pose, smoking] I just left something like this in my apartment.
Robin: I can't believe my baby sister is planning to lose her virginity to a douche with a faux-hawk. This can't happen, you guys have help me talk her out of it.
Marshall: A speech to talk a girl out of sex...
Ted: ...yeah I don't have any of those.
Barney: Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.
Robin: Please I'm her older sister I'm supposed to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions
Lily: It's 2 o'clock and you've already had three Scotch and Sodas.
Robin: That's why I need your help!
Robin: I can't believe my great grandparents still do that
Barney: And I never imagined a walker being used for anything other than walking.
Ted: So, you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well in your case, twelfth grade. Self five!
Every hookup at a weekend wedding is decided at Friday Night Drinks. Get stuck with the wrong girl, the only action you'll be getting all weekend is a self five and I don't mean the cool kind.
Barney: You have been blessed with a wonderful gift.
Lily: Thank you.
Barney: I meant me
Tim: Your suits death is another suits life.
Barney: Do it.
Tim: You're doing the right thing.
(Barney sobs)
Tim: Please don't cry on this - it's silk.
Lily: I'm not paying for room service The Hooker ordered.
Barney: I've been there.
Barney: We're gonna make a great team. We just need some practice.
Robin: Yeah let's prove that we believe in marriage by workin together to help Marshall hide something from his wife!
