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How-i-met-your-mother

There is always a strip club.

For a long time, deep down I felt sort of, broken? But I don't feel that way anymore. Robin, along with the idea that vengeance will soon be mine, has made me 100% awesome.

Barney: I've had sex in Ted's bed 14 times.
Ted: I asked if you wear shoulder pads.

Ted: Uh Barney who's taller, me or you?
Barney: You're taller, I wear lifts in all my shoes.

Suit like that only needs one button, self destruct.

Chicago? Is that even a real place?

Robin: Take a good look at this face Barney OK? Cause it will be useful for the future. This is my pretty mad face.
Barney: Well then we've got a problem, cause it looks a lot like your pretty hungry face.
Robin: I'm missing the bacon wrapped figs!

So many great things about this girl. Her boobs, her rack, her chest.

There is no girl too pretty. For I am Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City.

Barney: The international dateline, that's right new theory. What's that you ask?
Ted: Nobody did
Barney: I'll now address your query.

Barney: Truth is, I only know of one truly platonic relationship.
Lily: You and me.
Barney: Don't make me laugh Lily. You want to hit this so hard.

And the only survivor was me, because I was upstairs banging Ted's mom. What? Get that blonde girl's phone number? Challenge accepted!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 657 in total

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HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
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