Barney Stinson Quotes
There is always a strip club.
For a long time, deep down I felt sort of, broken? But I don't feel that way anymore. Robin, along with the idea that vengeance will soon be mine, has made me 100% awesome.
Barney: I've had sex in Ted's bed 14 times.
Ted: I asked if you wear shoulder pads.
Ted: Uh Barney who's taller, me or you?
Barney: You're taller, I wear lifts in all my shoes.
Suit like that only needs one button, self destruct.
Chicago? Is that even a real place?
Robin: Take a good look at this face Barney OK? Cause it will be useful for the future. This is my pretty mad face.
Barney: Well then we've got a problem, cause it looks a lot like your pretty hungry face.
Robin: I'm missing the bacon wrapped figs!
So many great things about this girl. Her boobs, her rack, her chest.
There is no girl too pretty. For I am Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City.
Barney: The international dateline, that's right new theory. What's that you ask?
Ted: Nobody did
Barney: I'll now address your query.
Barney: Truth is, I only know of one truly platonic relationship.
Lily: You and me.
Barney: Don't make me laugh Lily. You want to hit this so hard.
And the only survivor was me, because I was upstairs banging Ted's mom. What? Get that blonde girl's phone number? Challenge accepted!