How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch How I Met Your Mother.

There is always a strip club.

For a long time, deep down I felt sort of, broken? But I don't feel that way anymore. Robin, along with the idea that vengeance will soon be mine, has made me 100% awesome.

Barney: I've had sex in Ted's bed 14 times.
Ted: I asked if you wear shoulder pads.

Ted: Uh Barney who's taller, me or you?
Barney: You're taller, I wear lifts in all my shoes.

Suit like that only needs one button, self destruct.

Chicago? Is that even a real place?

Robin: Take a good look at this face Barney OK? Cause it will be useful for the future. This is my pretty mad face.
Barney: Well then we've got a problem, cause it looks a lot like your pretty hungry face.
Robin: I'm missing the bacon wrapped figs!

So many great things about this girl. Her boobs, her rack, her chest.

There is no girl too pretty. For I am Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City.

Barney: The international dateline, that's right new theory. What's that you ask?
Ted: Nobody did
Barney: I'll now address your query.

Barney: Truth is, I only know of one truly platonic relationship.
Lily: You and me.
Barney: Don't make me laugh Lily. You want to hit this so hard.

And the only survivor was me, because I was upstairs banging Ted's mom. What? Get that blonde girl's phone number? Challenge accepted!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 657 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney