Squaky, until I met you, I never thought I could love something bald.

Bart: You did it Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
Milhouse: What about me?
Bart: You're in the top hundred.
Milhouse: Booyah!
Bart: Now you're not.

Lisa: Mom, where's dad?
Marge: I don't know.
Bart: Aw it's Christmas Eve man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!

Bart: What's a game show?
Homer: Something you make sketches about.

Remember when this country didn't suck? Cuz I don't.

Bart: I want you to binge watch all the shows you've ever done.
Krusty: I've never said no to a binge.

A minute of fun a lifetime of work. I've never heard of a pregnancy like this.

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Marge:You can live with your no good son.
Bart: Hey, what did I do?
Marge: Nothing for thirty years. You're perfect for each other.

Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.

Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil, are a little...pretentious.
Bart: Absolutely...we're talking about Lisa, right?

Bart: Homer, Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.