Bart: Dad, I want a baby brother.
Homer: Haha. Son, I love you kids, but I'm only going to the hospital one more time in my life, and I ain't coming out.

Bart: Oh my god, I want a brother.
Lisa: You can have mine, but he's kind of an idiot.

Marge: A branch must have knocked out the power lines.
Bart: That's fine, I'll see what's on TV.
Marge: That runs on electricity, also.
Bart: Alright, I'll watch a DVD, there's no way that runs on electricity.... Really, does Obama know about this?

Bart: Your honor, I'd like to enter something into the record.
Judge: Strangely, I'll allow it.
Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a big dummy with a stupid job. I write down what other people say just like a big dummy would. Could the court reporter read that back?
Court Reporter: I'm a big dummy with a stupid job... hey!

Bart: Dad! Lisa's making me see things from both sides again!
Homer: Lisa, I warned you about that!
Lisa: Shouldn't Bart have all the information he needs to make an informed decision?
Homer: Now you're doing it to me, aww...

Bart: Willie, I know you witnessed the most awesome prank since creation.
Willie: I'll nay speak to you of those dark times, Bart Simpson.
Bart: But if there was a more awesome dude than I, I need to know who he was, what he did and how many days detention he got.

Marge: You two are going out? I thought I told you the Flanderers were coming over for dinner.
Lisa: I'm having a tea party at Jamie's.
Bart: And I'm having a stink bomb party at the house next to Jamie's... no connection.

Bart: Stop dragging me! When i get older I'm gonna drag you around and buy you clothes.
Marge: Oh, that's wonderful!

I'm a Simpson, and a Simpson never gets up unless he's tried at least one easy thing

Milhouse: Maybe we can find an answer in this bookstore
Bart: Book stores don't have answers, the just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of aisle ways

Bart: Mrs K, you have to get out of here. When was the last time you washed your hair?
Edna Krabapple: Hmm, two weeks ago...
Bart: Well, that's better than me, but still, you gotta get out

Marge: I'm worried about Mrs Krabappel
Bart: No worries, I heard in the old four square court she was doing great
Lisa: No one even plays four square anymore, they just gossip

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Mayor Quimby: And, uh, may the Force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: You have no idea who I am, do you?
Mayor Quimby: Sure, I do. You're one of the Little Rascals, right?