Bart Simpson Quotes
Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.
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Bart: (Answering phone) Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em!
Homer: Boy! When I get home, I'm going to wrap my hands around your neck--
(The mental doctors suddenly gasp and look at Homer.)
Homer: --and smother you with kisses.
Bart: Dad, whatever they got you on, cut the dose!
- Permalink: Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em! Boy! When I get ...
Things change when you hit the big 1-O. Your legs start to go, candy doesn't taste as good anymore.
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Bart: Milhouse can you keep a secret?
Bart: Oh well who cares, Michael Jackson is coming to my house!!
- Permalink: Milhouse can you keep a secret? No. Oh well who cares, Micha...
Homer: Bart, you keep an eye out for the mailman. Just give me some kind of signal.
Bart: Dad, the mailman's here.
Homer: That's a good one. We'll use that.
(A postwoman appears behind Homer)
Bart: No! I mean the mailman's here.
Postwoman: Dear God! Are you planning to water the mail?
Homer: I guess it wouldn't do any good to run 'cause you're a mail-lady and you know my name and address and everything, huh?
Postwoman: That's right.
Homer: Well... I'm still going to run.
(Homer runs away)
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Homer: Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So they got Hercules, and Hercules used his mighty strength, and...bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big...thing...of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days!
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(Homer is searching for the letter he wrote to Mr. Burns.)
Homer: Where did you see it last?
Bart: The last place I saw it...was in my hand...as I was shoving it into...the mailbox!
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(Bart prank calls Moe's Tavern.)
Moe: Moe's Tavern, where the elite meet to drink.
Bart: Uh, hello. Is Mike there? Last name, Rotch.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. (Calls out) Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Moe: (to Bart) Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick.
- Permalink: Moe's Tavern, where the elite meet to drink. Uh, hello. Is Mik...
Mrs. Glick: Here, have some ribbon candy. Boys love candy!
Bart: No thanks!
Mrs. Glick: Boys love candy!
Bart: Ueeeh. I think I'd just rather get to work m'am.
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