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The-simpsons

Homer: Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So they got Hercules, and Hercules used his mighty strength, and...bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big...thing...of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days!

(Homer is searching for the letter he wrote to Mr. Burns.)
Homer: Where did you see it last?
Bart: The last place I saw it...was in my hand...as I was shoving it into...the mailbox!
Homer: D'oh!

(Bart prank calls Moe's Tavern.)
Moe: Moe's Tavern, where the elite meet to drink.
Bart: Uh, hello. Is Mike there? Last name, Rotch.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. (Calls out) Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
(Everyone snickers)
Moe: (to Bart) Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick.

Mrs. Glick: Here, have some ribbon candy. Boys love candy!
Bart: No thanks!
Mrs. Glick: Boys love candy!
Bart: Ueeeh. I think I'd just rather get to work m'am.

Homer: Hey, when I was your age, 50 cents was a lot of money.
Bart: Really?
Homer: Naah!

Marge: So maybe a part-time job is the answer.
Bart: Aw, Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie, and Lisa is such a handful--
Lisa: She means you should get a job, stupid.

(Bart, Milhouse, and Martin discuss their ownership of the comic)
Martin: How about this, guys? Bart can have it Mondays and Thursdays, Milhouse will get it Tuesdays and Fridays, and yours truly will take it Wednesdays and Saturdays.
Bart: Perfect!
Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about Sundays?
Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about Sundays?
Martin: Well, Sunday possession will be determined by a random number generator. I will take the digits 1 through 3, Milhouse will have 4 through 6, and Bart will have 7 through 9.
Bart: Perfect!
Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about 0?
Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about 0?
Milhouse: Yeah!
Martin: Well, in the unlikely event of a 0, possession will be determined by rock scissors paper competition, best 3 out of 5, how's that?
(Bart and Milhouse agree.)

Bart: We worked so hard and now it's all gone. We ended up with nothing because the three of us can't share.
Milhouse: What's your point?
Bart: Nothing, just kinda ticks me off.

This looks like a discount for...Bartman!

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