The Simpsons

Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 60)

Bart: I did go away, mom, I was miles and miles and miles away. Dying in agony in the pits of hell. And you were there! And you, and you, and you... and you I've never seen before!
Homer: (to Lionel Hutz) Yeah who are you anyway? I saw you chasing Bart's ambulance.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Um, say, is there anything I can do to avoid coming back here?
The Devil: Oh, sure, yeah. But, eh, you wouldn't like it.
Bart: Oh, okay! See you later, then.
 • Rating: Unrated

The Devil: Remember: Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music!
Bart: Yes, sir!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: (in court and in tears) Luckily, I was not killed that day. Though sometimes I wish I had been.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Otto, I'm going to jump Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
Otto: You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something?
Bart: What?
Otto: Cool!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Scene cuts back and forth between Homer at Moe's and Bart at home, who are watching the same wrestling match on TV)
Milhouse: Hey, that's my seat.
Bart: Correction, was your seat.
(Cut to Moe's Tavern)
Barney: But I only got up to go the the can!
Homer: Hey, I don't see your name engraved on this bar stool.
 • Rating: Unrated

Otto: (Singing, to tune of "Foxy Lady" over Bus microphone) Do do doo, do doo do doo, do do do doo.
Bart: Hey Otto, can I use that microphone.
Otto: ..doo do do (Switches off) Sorry Bart dude, it's for emergencies only. (Switches back on) Doo doo doo.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Lisa, Bart and his friends watch wrestling on TV)
Bart: Two titans at the height of their careers. Ahh, if you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.
Lisa: Oh, Bart, I hope you're not taking this seriously. Even a five-year-old knows that this is as choreographed as any ballet.
(Cut to Homer, who is at Moe's watching the same thing and talking to Barney.)
Homer: Eh, Rasputin's got the reach. But on the other hand, the professor's got his patented coma lock. If you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Bart announces his jump over Springfield Gorge.)
Lisa: (Worried) Springfield Gorge? Bart, you'll be killed.
Bart: Lisa, I don't know how to explain this, but I get the same thrill out of jumpin' over stuff that you do fromreading.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or else I'll take away the glue and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!
Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue, it's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
Bart: Oh yeah, prove it (she hands him the glue) Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue.
 • Rating: Unrated

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