Jules: I can't believe I was married to a guy who keeps his driver's license in a box
Bobby: A box marked important stuff

Travis: As a grown man you think it's a good idea to store most of your earthly possessions in the woods?
Bobby: Calm down, what's a squirrel gonna do with a blender?

I just wanted us to have a thing like me and my dad did. You don't like golf, you don't like boats, you don't like throwing things at each others nuts. I just don't know what part of you is me

Jules: Alright great the bet starts now
Bobby [entering]: J-bird!
Grayson: Wow, point five seconds. I just went twenty dollars
Bobby: Sounds like I was involved, want to go splitsies?

Travis: Well, Dad. I'll always be here. I love you
Bobby: Swing and a miss, Trav. Swing and a miss.

Bobby: When I was married, you know what Jules said to me?
Grayson: Please stop sleeping with other women?

It's been awhile since I wore a tie, I keep thinking someone's trying to strangle me.

Bobby: The paint can game is the greatest thing I've ever created in my life.
Travis: And thank you dad.

Bobby: Come on T-bone, you can take my ride.
Travis: You know putting golf cart keys on a Ferrari keychain doesn't make it a Ferrari?
Bobby: I was being ironic.

Bobby: You get a tiny leak in a dam, you gotta plug it up real quick or you'll be in a car with no breaks traveling down trouble highway.
Grayson: Wait, is the highway flooded? Where is this dam? You are mixing metaphors like a crazy person.
Bobby: My mom says I'm colorful.

Bobby: I'm going through stuff too. They're repaving the parking lot where I keep my boat so I'm going to have to move. It's time like this I wish I had my own parking lot.
Jules: Really? That's what you wish for?

Travis: Good bye, I love you dad
Jules: Oh my god, did he just say I love you?
Bobby: I know, pretty gay right?

Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.