Favorite Brian Griffin Quotes
Brian: Having sex with Quagmire is inevitable, like a fat guy ordering dessert when everyone else wants to leave.
Waiter: Would anyone like dessert?
Man: I couldn't eat another thing.
Woman: I gotta get home for the sitter.
Fat Man: I'll have the souffle.
Waiter: That takes 45 minutes.
Fat Man: That's okay.
Pink Panther: Hey first day being pink?
Pink Panther: Welcome to hell.
Stewie: It's True Blood.
Brian: No one knows what that is.
Stewie: Rich, gay people do.
Brian: Ah, it's a period joke!
Peter: Ah, it's a period period joke!
First I'm gonna stare at this brown paper bag that I'm pretty sure has food in it
Peter: Hey, is the Count a Vampire?
Brian: What's that?
Peter: Well he's got these big fangs. Have they ever shown him doin' somebody in and then feedin' on em?
Brian: You're, you're asking me if they've ever done a Seseme Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance
Brian: No, they've never done that
Stewie: Life's confusing when you grow up, isn't it Brian?
Brian: It is.
Stewie: Can we play my mixtape?
Brian: Yeah, go ahead.
(Stewie puts in the mixtape and "Cars" by Gary Numan begins to play. Stewie sings to the beat)
Stewie: Brian had sex, with a really dumb girl, now he's taking his friend Stewie, to get some ice cream, in his car.
(Brian shuts the tape off)
Stewie: Ohhhh, you're a poor sport.
Quagmire: Hey Brian, what do you think of my sign?
Brian: "Quagmire's Cross Country Tour." Uh, isn't there an "O" in country?
Brian: (teasing) Stewie loves Lois.
Stewie: Brian loves Olympia Dukakis.
Brian: Oh, yeah I do.
Apollo: I was booked for three hours by "Archibald Meatpants."
Brian: He's...he's dead.
Apollo: Well, either way, I'm getting paid and somebody's getting torn open.
Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian: Peter those aren't your kids. That's the Nick-At-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian: That's Street Fighters.
Peter: Red, blue, green...
Brian: Those are colors.
(Stewie and Brian begin kissing in order to get thrown out of the Army)
Stewie: Wow, look at how gay we are! I am so gay with my gayness!
Brian: Me, too! I'm...I'm a homo.
Army Guy: Any room for one more?
Stewie: Hell yeah!
(Brian smacks Stewie)