Favorite Brian Griffin Quotes
Pink Panther: Hey first day being pink?
Pink Panther: Welcome to hell.
Brian: Having sex with Quagmire is inevitable, like a fat guy ordering dessert when everyone else wants to leave.
Waiter: Would anyone like dessert?
Man: I couldn't eat another thing.
Woman: I gotta get home for the sitter.
Fat Man: I'll have the souffle.
Waiter: That takes 45 minutes.
Fat Man: That's okay.
Stewie: It's True Blood.
Brian: No one knows what that is.
Stewie: Rich, gay people do.
Brian: Ah, it's a period joke!
Peter: Ah, it's a period period joke!
First I'm gonna stare at this brown paper bag that I'm pretty sure has food in it
Stewie: Life's confusing when you grow up, isn't it Brian?
Brian: It is.
Stewie: Can we play my mixtape?
Brian: Yeah, go ahead.
(Stewie puts in the mixtape and "Cars" by Gary Numan begins to play. Stewie sings to the beat)
Stewie: Brian had sex, with a really dumb girl, now he's taking his friend Stewie, to get some ice cream, in his car.
(Brian shuts the tape off)
Stewie: Ohhhh, you're a poor sport.
Quagmire: Hey Brian, what do you think of my sign?
Brian: "Quagmire's Cross Country Tour." Uh, isn't there an "O" in country?
Stewie: "Brian, if I take up roller derby what od you think my name should be? Bruisin' B. Anthony, Alicia Sleaze, or Quo Hag?"
Brian: "How about Harlot O'Scara?"
Stewie: "You dick, that's awesome."
Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian: Peter those aren't your kids. That's the Nick-At-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian: That's Street Fighters.
Peter: Red, blue, green...
Brian: Those are colors.
Stewie: Alright Brian, I'm gonna go up to the upper level and run this wire down through the wall. Grab your walkie, I'll call you when I get up there.
(Stewie walks away, is heard over the walkie-talkie)
Stewie: Brian, pick up. Over.
Stewie: Brian, please say "over" when you are finished talking. Over.
Brian: (sighs) What? Over.
Stewie: Do you see the wire yet? Over.
Stewie: Nooooo what? Over.
Brian: No. Over.
Stewie: Okay, I'm gonna start feeding it through. Over.
Brian: Wait, If you haven't started feeding it, why'd ya ask me if I could see it?
Stewie: Didn't copy that. Over.
Brian: I said why did ya ask me if I could see it if you haven't started feeding it. Over.
Stewie: Oh that's better, I can hear you now. Over. Do you see it yet? Over.
Brian: You know, you're a jackass. For the record, I don't wanna hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Stewie: When this is what Brian? Over.
Brian: I said, I don't wanna hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Stewie: When this is what? You've got to finish your sentence. Over.
Brian: That's it, my sentence is over.
Stewie: Your sentence is what, Brian? Over.
Brian: My sentence is- wait a minute. I have to say over, even if the sentence ends with the word over?
Stewie: Ends with the word what, Brian? Over.
(the wire descends through the wall)
Brian: Oh, I see the wire.
Stewie: You see the wire what? Over.
Brian: Over! (yanks on the wire, pulling Stewie down with it)
Brian: (in heaven) Look at me, hanging out with Ernest Hemmingway, Vincent Van Gogh and Kurt Cobain. But it does seem like we all ended up here earlier then we should have.
Hemmingway: Well, I finally collapsed under the weight of my own genius, and shot myself.
Van Gogh: I couldn't reconcile my passion with the way people around me were living, so I shot myself.
Cobain: I couldn't stand the idea of my music becoming some bland corporate tool, so I shot myself.
Brian: Yeah, I... got into the garbage and ate some chocolate.
Lois: Peter, its seven in the morning!
Brian: Thanks for the update Big Ben.
[Brian and Peter Laugh]
Lois: You're drunk again!
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted from bein' up all night drinkin'.
Lois: Listen, Peter, if you keep this up something terrible's gonna happen.
Peter: Somethin' terrible... all the way to the bank!