Brian Griffin Quotes
You're like all the worst parts of a girlfriend.
Brian: OMG, Stewie. What are you doing in the toilet with the lid closed?
Stewie: Ted R. says this is where a piece of crap has to live.
So I was wondering why this tampon commerical was so long, until I realized it was a rerun of Sex and The City
Brian: You've been hanging out with Tom Cruise?
Stewie: Sure have. We spent the whole day together, and he showed me there are a lot of advantages to being short.
Brian: Yeah? Like what? You're the last one to get wet when it rains?
You know, it's times like this where I think if I didn't talk and you were a normal baby, we wouldn't have any of these problems.
God he must be the coolest fat guy in a train conductor's cap in the world!
Stewie: Yes looks like someone's gone at him with a whip.
Brian: That is a perfectly valid way of saying that. Bravo master.
Stewie: Master? Aaand a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie.
Brian: Well I don't know if I'd label myself a drinker. I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.
Peter: There were three lies in that sentence.
Peter: I missed you Brian.
Brian: I missed you too Peter.
Peter: And now Im gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.
Brian: No, we're going to go pee in Meg's bed.
Peter: Good boy.
You go ahead, I have to make the waffle fries you scream-requested in the car.
Brian: Permission to take fast tiny bites at my own tail, sir?
Peter: Go ahead.
Brian: This one's bones feel all loose.
Stewie: I think this one's blind.