Nurse: Mr. Hawthorne is requesting Sour Face.
Pierce: Is that you death?
Britta: No it's me, Britta.
If you have to ask if it's homophobic to ask questions, haven't you already answered your own question?
Maybe we all need some space, to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the 90s you selfish, jaded ass!
Jeff: What am I not good at?
What does this symbol mean? It's the number 8, and equals sign and then a greater than symbol.
Troy: Is it black Michael Chiklis?
Pierce: Is it white George Foreman
Britta: You guys are talking about the same person. He's biracial, his name is David and he's a human being.
Troy: I just spent the last two years thinking that you guys knew more than me about life, and I just found out you guys are just as dumb as me.
Britta: Da doi.
Jeff: Yeah. Da doi.
Jeff: There's a place at Third and Water. It's fun, divey but not staph infection divey. It's either got a gross name, or an ironically fancy one. Possibly both.
Britta: Oh, The Ball Toom. Good.
Jeff: Annie, relax.
Britta: No you relax Jeff! Or are you afraid that if you do, my pen will fall out?!
Shirley: Mother Hen? I think we're about the same age.
Britta: Sure, unless time is linear.
Shirley: I'll make your ass linear.
Britta: That doesn't make any sense.
Shirley: I'll make your ass sense.
Britta: I still thing that man is going to evolve into woman, not a dragon monster with three legs.
Pierce: Three legs?
Women of Greendale! This cafeteria is hereby declared a bitch-free zone!