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Why name your daughter Megan? Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?

I don't even believe in God, but I love me some Abed.

How many schools would let you get a degree in theoretical phys-ed?

I'm raising less money because I'm not jump starting date rapists.

I better not smile at that wall outlet, before you fry your face off!

Will someone back me up if I say this is ridiculous or is this going to be another Avatar situation?

Britta: So what's the context for constantly calling me as a lesbian?
Pierce: If the wallet chain fits... I'm just trying to help you find yourself.

I may not eat meat, but I'm not gonna eat that injustice.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Cancer. Oh good, come in. I thought it was Britta.

Jeff: Guess where Rich is from?
Britta: Couldn't have been crazy town because you would have gone to high school together.

Britta: Someone's mom gave them way too much praise.
Jeff: Man, so did someone's psych teacher.

Don't be Mike Brady. Mike Brady's not sexy. You should be like Jo from Facts of Life.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 113 in total

Community Quotes

I'm no sociopath, I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, and getting yelled at. So if you think about it, I'm the sanest person here.

Jeff

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]