I hope you all respect when I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.

Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.

People thought I went on vacation but I really spent the summer lost in the sewers.

Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. Actually, I wanna touch her boobs.

You look terrible. I look awesome.

Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

Mr. Hummel: If things get serious, use protection.
Brittany: Does he mean like a burglar alarm?

Kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.

You're pretty much the only guy in this school I haven't made out with because I thought you were capital G gay. But now that I know you're not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. Let me know if you wanna tap this.

Who is that guy?

Brittany [on mohawk-shaven Puck]

I don't know how to turn on a computer.

Artie: I'm kind of getting cold feet.
Brittany: Can you even feel your feet?

Glee Quotes

I'm gonna miss all of you. I love you guys.

Puck

[to Rachel] They say you have to lose everything before you can really find yourself.

Rachel's dad