I hope you all respect when I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.
Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.
People thought I went on vacation but I really spent the summer lost in the sewers.
Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. Actually, I wanna touch her boobs.
You look terrible. I look awesome.
Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.
Mr. Hummel: If things get serious, use protection.
Brittany: Does he mean like a burglar alarm?
Kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.
You're pretty much the only guy in this school I haven't made out with because I thought you were capital G gay. But now that I know you're not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. Let me know if you wanna tap this.
Who is that guy?Brittany [on mohawk-shaven Puck]
I don't know how to turn on a computer.
Artie: I'm kind of getting cold feet.
Brittany: Can you even feel your feet?