Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Cameron Tucker Quotes
Cameron: Mitchell is a snob.
Mitchell: No, n-no, I'm discerning.
Cameron: Official slogan for snobs. When we first met he wouldn't even look at me because I was a hick from the farm in Missouri and he's a big city mouse.
Mitchell: Who says city mouse?
Cameron: Country mice
Mitchell: I think I'm laying on a rock.
Cam: I'm laying next to mine.
That gay cruise ship has sailed.
Cam [on Lily having a normal childhood]
Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.
Mitchell: I don't like football.
Cameron: You know what? I thought part of being in a relationship was pretending to enjoy your partner's interests. Do you think I really loved home pickle making?
Mitchell: Yeah, 'cause you did.
Cameron: For a week, until we became the weird guys who gave everybody pickles. "Oh thank you, Marvin, for inviting us into your lovely home. Here, would you care for sacks pickles?"
Mitchell: It was charming.
Cameron: We were picklers, Mitchell. Okay, you know what, fine. Stay home with your little, jagged scissors. Maybe catch up on your scrap-booking.
Mitchell: Uh, come-you love scrap-booking.
Cameron: Did I Mitchell? Did I? [Leaves room]
Mitchell: No, stop. Don't do the double question to prove a point thing. I hate it when people do that.
Cameron [holds Lily outside the door]: Do you Mitchell? Do you?
Mitchell: Stop Lily
Cameron: It would be like Lewis telling Clark that he didn't like to walk. Sidenote: We're very good friends with a couple named Lewis and Clark. Clark bought a big sparkly belt in New Orleans that he calls his Louisiana Purchase.
Cameron [about him and Gloria]: On paper we should be good friends, one spicy curvy diva.
Mitchell: And Gloria.
Oh sure, when you're gay you just walk around giving butt bumps to everybody. It's like a high-five — it's a low two.
I can't pressure Mitchell. But I really, really, really just want him to get a job so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife.
Cam: She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: You know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?
It's a somber occasion and all of my tops are too joyful.
You're so cute when you're angry with you're little fists. I just want to put you in my pocket.
