Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me, because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.

If I have to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar one more time, I will snap!

Every home-improvement project we've undertaken has been a near-death experience.

I get it, you're terrfied of small talk and birds, you're just lucky that pigeon didn't want to chat you up about the weather.

Calm down, you know I grew up around many animals. One time a rooster attacked me and my mom rung its neck and we had it for dinner.

Cameron: It would be like Lewis telling Clark that he didn't like to walk. Sidenote: We're very good friends with a couple named Lewis and Clark. Clark bought a big sparkly belt in New Orleans that he calls his Louisiana Purchase.

He was a very nice man when we met him, but based on his recent letters I have a small fear he's become a war lord.

I have an uncle that can only wear bell-bottoms. Hand to God.

Cam: People always say I scream Hawaii.
Mitchell: Who says that?
Cam: People...
Mitchell: What people?
Cam: ...You don't know them.

This is a coup. When you get in with Jasper, doors open. He's a legacy at Happy Time Preschool.

Cameron: Did you hear that woman screaming my name?
Mitchell: That was Phil. He had a Red Bull.

Dylan: I don't think we'd like the same music.
Cam: Because I'm gay and only like show tunes?
Dylan: Because you're old.
Cam: Well, that hurt more, Dylan.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 200 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire
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