We didn’t say Grace, we said on your marks, get set go.

There’s a caste system at school. Academic teachers at the top, gym teachers at the bottom. It’s offensive and disrespectful, they treat us like we’re lunch ladies.

Cam: Poker face, poker face.
Mitchell: Ok, now work on your poker voice.

I thought it was a charity event for the need, it turns out it was a charity event FOR the needy!

Now I don’t get what tuna net you dolphins swam into but you guys are drowning out there!

There will be no mourning Knight this afternoon.

We never told Grandma ‘bout the gay.

Lily: Y’all fightin?
Cam: No no sweetie, we’re just having a conversation about how your daddy can be so stuck up.

That’s the worst call since they cast Russell Crowe in Les Miz!!

Mitchell [to Lily]: Wanna get our face painted like a pretty butterfly?
Cam: No I’m not in the mood.

Pepper: My job is to give you a snowflake that makes everyone die with jealousy.
Cam: That's all we've ever wanted.

I'm gonna go over there and be as socially magnetic as I always am, we will put this on the back burner, but underneath know I am fuming.