Carla Espinosa Quotes
Janitor: Well the good news is his head isn't in the storage room. 'Cause I once found a head in the storage room. Funny story actually; I put it in my locker 'cause I didn't have time to go to lost and found, went on a long week and forgot all about it. Come back to work on monday, open my locker, WAH, head. Plus, rats. I panicked 'cause I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed the thing and ran up to the roof, and I punt it, and I shank it wide left like I always do. Now, it's heading straight down right for Kelso sitting in his convertable. I'm done. I'm out of a job right? Wrong! At that second a hawk flies in, grabs the thing, and flies off with it. And I know what you're thinking; we're in the middle of a city. What's a hawk doing there?
Carla: I can't believe you get a locker and I don't.
Carla: Kelso's gonna kill me. I can't find Mr. Sommers.
Janitor: Did you look between Mr. Spring and Mr. Fall? Ha ha, too easy.
Carla: Hey you know wha- More armour?
Janitor: No, actually I'm uh, sneaking trays out of the cafeteria... I'm building a shed.
Janitor: Psst!
Carla: What?
Janitor: I need some advice. Which do you prefer?[holds up two neck ties]
Carla: What's the occasion?
Janitor: Me, wiping up gunk. I was cleaning Kelso's tie rack... I assumed I could have it. I find the Armani is very effective on urine, where as the Yves Saint Laurent is...
J.D.: Carla, can you cover my patients?
Dr. Kelso: She's already watching someone for me.
J.D.: Alright, I'll find somebody else.
Carla: Why, because I'm just a nurse I can't look after everybody?
Dr. Kelso: Precisely.
Carla: You're worried about what I can handle? Vascular surgery wants an update every two hours on bed one. I'm weaning Mrs. Jones' Dopamine from 10mgs to 5. Mrs. Myerson's abdominal wound is dehiscing, and Mr. Wilder's about to be turfed to psych because he thinks he's Flo from Alice.
Wilder: Kiss my grits!
Carla: Exactly, Flo. Exactly.
Carla: I swear Turk, sometimes I think you and J.D. are more of a couple than we are.
J.D.: (Over the walkie talkie) Tell her I've known you longer.
Carla: I can't do that. Turk is very sensitive about his masculinity. You remember what happened when I told him his backpack looked like a purse.
Flashback...
Carla: I'm sorry, Turk. I didn't mean it!
Turk: I AM A MAN!!!! A MAN DOESN'T WEAR A PURSE!!!!
(Talking about their respective men)
Elliot: They are three manly men.
Jordan: Perry gets his chest waxed.
Elliot: Keith loves to knit throw pillows.
Carla: Turk might be sterile.
Jordan: We have a winner.
Turk: I may be sterile.
Carla: Oh honey, stay calm. Nobody knows but us.
J.D.: (Over watchie-talkie) You firing blanks, buddy?
Carla: OK, I know how you can regain control of Keith.
Elliot: Carla, don't bother, booty call was for a while, but I am so sick of being this cold, emotionless bastard.
Dr. Cox: I never get sick and tired of that. It is awesome being that.
J.D.: We love it. (Puts arm on Dr. Cox's shoulder)
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: It's too much, I know.
J.D.: You're late Keith. Which doesn't surprise me, because you're a terrible person.
Keith: Sorry, I was helping with a gunshot victim downstairs.
J.D.: Lies won't get you anywhere, Keith.
Keith: I'm... covered in his blood.
J.D.: That could be anyone's blood.
Carla: Here's the gunshot victim from downstairs.
Gunshot victim: Hey, my blood!
J.D.: That's not your blood.
Gunshot victim: Yes, it is!
J.D.: Quiet time.
