Favorite Carlos Solis Quotes
Carlos: Helen! You work here!
Roda (adoption lady): You all know each other? What a small world!
Helen It sure is. Mrs. Solis hired my son to do her yard work, and also she would rape him.
Gabrielle: No, Carlos. What choice do we have? They're two teenagers who are getting seriously involved. Isn't it better to be safe than sorry?
Carlos: But giving them these is like giving them our blessing.
Gabrielle: And that's how I felt at first, but like Angie said, nature's gonna take its course.
Carlos: Yeah, easy for her to say. She's got the boy!
Carlos: Gaby, these pictures have to be wholesome. They gotta say, "These people will do a great job raising a child."
Gabrielle: So?
Carlos: So you're topless!
Gabrielle: Yeah, but it's St. Bart's, and your hands are covering my naughty bits.
Carlos: You mean the hand that's holding the tequila shot, or the hand that's holding the Cuban cigar?
Gabrielle: Yeah, that was a great trip.
Carlos: Ah, this is a sign...
Gabrielle: Will you shut up?
Carlos: We lost the baby, found out we couldn't conceive another one, and ran into Helen Rowland at an adoption agency - God is obviously trying to tell us something.
Gabrielle: Carlos, we're Catholics, okay? God is pretty johnny-one-note on the whole subject of procreation!
Carlos: There was a lot of stuff that Gabby went through when she was younger. A lot of stuff that you don't know about. And I think that if you went to her and asked her about it, then the two of you could finally get passed it.
Lucia: What stuff are you talking about, Carlos?
Carlos (deep breath): Your second husband Alejandro. When Gabby was 15 he assaulted her; sexually.
Lucia: Is that what she told you?
Carlos: Look, I know it comes as a shock for you to be hearing it from me.
Lucia:Carlos, please, I am aware they had sex. But it was Gabrielle who seduced him. Carlos: Excuse me?
Lucia: She was always jealous of me. You don't know how many times I caught her wearing my shoes, trying on my jewelery. And I'd scream at her to leave my things alone, but no, she wanted whatever I had. Then one night she set her sights on Alejandro. Believe me, no one got raped.
Carlos: Lucia, she was only 15!
Lucia: You know, a lot of men have left me over the years, and I never knew the reason, but when Alejandro left, I knew exactly why it happened. Gabrielle made him fall in love with her. Took me so many years to forgive her.
Gabrielle: You know how Ana is dating Danny Bolen?
Carlos: I'm gonna kill him.
Gabrielle: And we have to be realistic.
Carlos: With my bare hands...
Gabrielle: Because they're not gonna listen to reason.
Carlos: And bury him under the porch.
Gabrielle: No, Carlos. What choice do we have? They're two teenagers who are getting seriously involved. Isn't it better to be safe than sorry?
Carlos: But giving them these is like giving them our blessing.
Gabrielle: And that's how I felt at first, but like Angie said, nature's gonna take its course.
Carlos: Yeah, easy for her to say. She's got the boy!
Carlos: Hmmmm... that's nice.
Gabrielle: You like that?
Carlos: Oh, yeah.
Gabrielle: God, I'm gonna miss this, Carlos.
Carlos: What do you mean?
Gabrielle: Well, since, I'm gonna have to be doing the cooking, and the cleaning, and all the shopping, like the other wives...
Carlos: Hmmm, hmmm.
Gabrielle: I'm going to be exhausted at night, just like all the other wives, til I build up my stamina, of course, but that might take a couple of years
Gabrielle: So... We're audtioning to be parents?
Adoption Agency Lady: You can say that...
Gabrielle: So just to be clear... Some slutty cheerleader gets knocked up by the soccer coach behind the local gas'n'gulp and SHE is gonna make sure we're quality people?
Carlos: You don't have to answer that...
Carlos: This is the first time I ever thought you wanted to have a baby.
Gabrielle: Well, this is the first time anyone said I couldn't have one.
Gabrielle: No. No, no, no. I want that woman's baby, and I'm gonna get it!
Carlos: And just how are you gonna go about doing that?
Gabrielle: Well, first of all, I'm gonna show her one of our tax returns. Once she sees how much money we have, I have a hunch we're gonna look a whole lot whiter!
Gabrielle: Okay, look, we have to find another mother.
Carlos: Why?
Gabrielle: Okay, this isn't easy to say, so I'm just going to say it, but have you taken a good look at her?
Carlos: Oh my god, are you trying to say that you don't want Deanna's baby because she's plain?
Gabrielle: No! Plain I can handle - Carlos, since that woman has walked into our house the clocks have stopped working!
Carlos: No one can predict what a child is going to look like. For all you know, her kid could end up winning beauty contests.
Gabrielle: With her DNA? The only thing that kid's going to be winning is best in show.
Gabrielle: Don't be so suicidal, we can always adopt.
Carlos: I wanted to have a child of our own, you know that.
Gabrielle: What does it matter whose DNA it is, the diapers are still going to smell the same regardless.
