Carlos Solis Quotes
(Gabrielle asks Carlos to come to her wedding).
Carlos: I can't go.
Gabrielle: Why not?
Carlos: I'm a jinx. I wen't to your last wedding and look how that turned out. (Gabrielle gives him a look.) C'mon Gaby, we both know it'd be weird if I went.
Gabrielle: Okay, maybe a little, but it'll be weirder if you don't.
Carlos: Excuse me?
Gabrielle: Look, everyone knows you're living with Edie, if she shows up alone people will think I asked her not to bring you like it bugs me that you guys are together.
Carlos: But it does bug you, you hit the roof when you found out.
Gabrielle: (now yelling at him) Which is why I have to show people that I'm Okay with it! (calms herself) Please, just, consider it my wedding gift.
Carlos: Okay.. But I'm skipping the ceremony.
Gabrielle: What? And just go to the reception? You can't do that.
Carlos: Well I don't wanna make a scene. You'll vow "Til death do us part" I'll bust out laughing, people will stare...
Gabrielle: Reception starts at four.
(Carlos looks for money to give the paperboy and discovers Edie's pills.)
Danny: What's that?
Carlos: It's birth control pills.
Danny: I'm gonna need cash.
So, if I'm just dating, and you're in love and getting married, remind me again why it is that you get to be the angry one?
(Mike walks into Carlos' room, Edie is hiding next to the door)
Mike: (whispering) So uh... you got a girl in here?
Carlos: No, why?
Mike: Because when I came home, I thought I heard sex noises.
Carlos: (laughing) Nah, that was just me.
Carlos: Hey, I didn't say we had to stop. I just said we had to be quiet.
Edie: What? I suppose we should tiptoe around like schoolchildren so our parents don't catch us doing it? I feel like I'm 12 again.
Carlos: I'm just saying, I don't think that the whole world needs to know our..(Realizing what Edie just said) 12?
Tom: Hey, you've got a cousin in the limo business, don't you?
Carlos: Actually, I've got a cousin in the limo as a front for prostitution business.
(The boys have gathered at Tom's restraurant when Ian walks in)
Mike: Hey, Ian.
Ian: Nice to see you Mike.
(Mike rolls his eyes at the other guys)
Carlos: What is fish'n'chips doing here?
Tom: Susan asked me to include him, she said he always wanted to learn how to play poker so we're gonna give him some very expensive lessons.
Mike: Be careful, he already knows how to bluff.
Carlos: (after Gabrielle told him she thinks she slept with Zach) God, I can't believe you bagged another neighborhood kid.
He starts to leave.
Gabrielle: Where are you going?
Carlos: To warn the Scavo boys!
Carlos: If you don't remember then how can you be sure you and Zach had sex?
Gabrielle: We were both half-naked and there was a condom wrapper and he said I was amazing, which totally sounds like me.
(Carlos walks into Gabrielle's bedroom, while Gabrielle is in the bathroom.)
Carlos: Gaby, I need another pillow.
Gabrielle: All right. Don't take the big one. That's my favorite.
Carlos: It's only for one night. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna be back home sleeping in my own bed.
Gabrielle: What?! You can't abandon me! There's a madman stalking me. My life is on the line. Do you know how scared I am?
(Gabrielle gets out of the bathroom wearing the dress her secret admirer gave her.)
Carlos: You're keeping that?
Gabrielle: Hey, I'm scared, but not of the dress.
Carlos: Why would I send you flowers?
Gabrielle: To sabotage my new relationship! (nods to Bill)
Carlos: Oh, picnic boy? What do I care if you go out with him?
(Carlos calls while Gabrielle picnics on the lawn with Bill)
Carlos: Hey, hey, who's the dork?
Gabrielle: Carlos?
Carlos: What's with that cap? Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Gabrielle: Where the hell are you?
(She looks around her and sees Carlos on Mike's frontporch, watching them as he drinks a beer. He waves at her)
Gabrielle: What are you doing at Mike's house?
Carlos: I live here.
Gabrielle: What do you mean you live there? Since when?
Carlos: Gabby, my car's been in the driveway for three weeks. Even you can't be that self-absorbed.
Gabrielle: Well, as you can see, I have more pleasant things to focus on.
Carlos: So when you gonna tell Jimmy Olsen there that you hate picnics?
Gabrielle: I'm gonna hang up now.
