Carlos Solis Quotes
Gabrielle: Well, Carlos, they had your name.
Carlos: Oh, no. poor Ralph.
Gabrielle: Oh! Why is your back all sweaty?
Carlos: I was working out on the treadmill.
Gabrielle: Barefoot?
Gabrielle: Honey, look. I bought us matching golf outfits for our lessons tomorrow.
Carlos: Yeah, about that-I can't go. I gotta pick up trash on the freeway.
Gabrielle: I'm sorry?
Carlos: I have to do my community service. It's part of my parole, remember?
Gabrielle: Oh, okay, well, I'll just call the country club and cancel our lessons.
Carlos: No, no, no. I am...I paid already. Might as well go without me.
Gabrielle: I don't wanna go alone. It was your idea in the first place.
Carlos: And I'd love to be there with you, too, if I didn't have to scrape slushies and condoms off Route 57. Look, what's the big deal? Just go take the stupid lesson.
Gabrielle: Fine, if you feel that way about it. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge today.
Carlos: Hey, what are you doing?
Gabrielle: Trying to have sex with you.
Carlos: Now? Babe, it's kind of late.
Gabrielle: You don't wanna have sex with me? You always wanna have sex with me. You wanted to have sex with me an hour after your hernia operation.
Carlos: I'm a little preoccupied. A good man died today. Don't take it personally.
Carlos: Hey, babe, we haven't tried it in the kitchen yet.
Gabrielle: Honey, uh, I think it's time to unpack the pants.
Carlos: Right. It's nice to meet you ladies.
Mary Alice: Let me guess newlyweds?
Gabrielle: Four months, and I've dressed like this for two of them. He's insatiable.
Carlos: Can I get a gardner who isn't trying to sleep with somebody in my house?
Gabrielle: You pay six bucks an hour. It's all about the perks, honey.
For God sakes, Gabrielle, Ralph just died, and you're worried about my feet? I mean, what the hell is wrong with you?
Carlos: We're gonna have a baby!
Gabrielle: Oh.
Doctor: You should know that since she's experiencing early symptoms, this might be a tough pregnancy for her.
Carlos: Not a problem. We are gonna treat her like a queen!
Gabrielle: Absolutely. You have nothing to worry about here.
Carlos: Do you have to be so high-maintenance?
Gabrielle: You married a model, Carlos. Maintenance is my only skill!
Gabrielle: Carlos! What's going on?
Carlos: Xiao-Mei is feeling under the weather, so I took up the vacuuming.
Gabrielle: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. So, uh, did you move my beauty products? They're not in the bathroom.
Xiao-Mei: She smell.
Carlos: Who smells? Gaby?
Gabrielle: Excuse me, what?
Xiao-Mei: Her perfume make me sick.
Gabrielle: Honey, it's a hundred bucks an ounce. That tends to make everyone a little nauseous.
Gabrielle: Okay, uh, well. Oh, okay, it's like this. The three of us are making your famous szechuan dumpings. And I'm the dough and Carlos is the pork and you're the oven!
Xiao-Mei: I have baby?
Carlos:Okay, we take care of everything. You know uh, hospital bills and maternity clothes and Lamaze classes. And of course, you wouldn't have to do any work!
Gabrielle: Well, uh, maybe just a little light dusting, nothing major.
Xiao-Mei: No!
Gabrielle: Xiao-Mei, you don't have a choice. It's either this or go back to China.
Xiao-Mei: No to baby! No!
Carlos: You had to push the dusting, didn't you?
Carlos: I still can't believe it. I mean, why would Xiao-Mei just offer herself up to me like that?
Gabrielle: Well, honey, she's a virgin. Who knows why virgins do anything?
Carlos: She's a virgin? Are you serious?
Gabrielle: Yeah. I wouldn't just slam her for no reason.
